


One, Two, Three, Four, I Declare A Prank War!

by TheDarkestDandelion



Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [70]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Accidents, Band-Aids, Car Accidents, Confusion, Cor Leonis Is Done, Crushes, Evil Plans, Family Fluff, Fire, Good Parent Regis Lucis Caelum, Happy, Humor, Jokes, Laughter, Love, M/M, Multi, Noctis Lucis Caelum is a Brat, Panic, Parent Ardyn Izunia, Parent Cor Leonis, Payback, Pettiness, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prompto Argentum is a Ray of Sunshine, Regis and Clarus take this very seriously, Revenge, Shock, Uncle Ardyn Izunia, ban - Freeform, best laid plans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestDandelion/pseuds/TheDarkestDandelion
Summary: Who'd a thought it?The prophecied King of Light and the Adagium are teaming up to start on a prank war on Insomnia's most supreme prankster's that have ever step foot in the Citadel. The King of Lucis and Lord Amicitia.Things... get a little out of hand...
Relationships: Ardyn Izunia & Noctis Lucis Caelum, Ardyn Izunia/Cor Leonis, Clarus Amicitia & Regis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum & Ardyn Izunia & Cor Leonis
Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [70]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310333
Comments: 41
Kudos: 46





	1. Bound By Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Noctis wants revenge on his father for making him eat his veggies and I have finally got around to writing it!!! XD
> 
> Who is going to win? And who else will get caught up in this war? Find out!
> 
> Please enjoy :)

It was finally time. 

Noctis had been sitting on this so-called revenge for a few months now. He had already explained to Prompto that he wanted to start a war between his dad, his grandfather, and his uncle for making him eat the cursed things known as vegetables for a week. Noctis wasn’t stupid. If he tried to hit back at them straight away, they would certainly know it was him. So he decided to leave it a few months and take caution in his actions. Who better than to start his revenge plan on than his uncle Ardyn. So here he was, standing on a ladder in Ardyn’s quarters trying his hardest to put a bucket full of fish guts on top of the door. This was a lot harder than the video’s made it out to be. One wrong move and all of it would go over him instead of his target. He hated the fact he was short! Maybe he should have got Gladio roped into this mess. 

“What do you think you are doing, young man?” 

Noctis nearly fell off the ladder at his uncle’s voice. Damn! Noctis lowered the bucket and turned to face Ardyn who was giving him a blank stare. 

Noct narrowed his eyes at his enemy and said in a strong voice. “Getting you back for making me eat vegetables. Old man.” 

“Right, and you think a bucket full of…” Ardyn said smelling the air to catch the scent of the substance inside the bucket that was still gripped in Noct’s hands. When he caught the smell, Ardyn was disgusted. “Noctis Lucis Caelum is that fish guts?!” 

“Maybe.” Noctis shrugged getting off the ladder in case he fell.

“You nasty little bugger. After, I forced sprouts down Somnus’s throat as payback for the both of us. The shame Noct.” 

“Yeah, after you went through with dad’s punishment plan.” 

“Oh. Alright than. But how does going after me work? I am merely the executioner my dear nephew. Your father is the one that passed the sentence. If you really want revenge, go after him.” Ardyn let out a hollow laugh. Why was Noctis so petty…. Wait he was related to him… that made sense. Ardyn than noticed the 13-year-old’s face light up in delight. It would appear his words had sparked an idea and that would be bad news for everyone if Noct tried whatever he was planning. In a voice filled with sarcasm as a means to deter him, Ardyn smiled. “But…. there is also a flaw in that plan.” 

Noctis rolled his eyes and placed the bucket on the floor in case he dropped it after getting off the ladder. Of course, there was a problem. There was always a problem when Ardyn Leonis was involved. 

“What? Are you about to tell me that dad is amazing at pranks or something? And I am wasting my time?” Noctis laughed. 

Ardyn shook his head and in a serious voice, he stated. “No. I am telling you that he and Lord Amicitia are the best pranksters in all of Lucis.” 

What?! 

No that couldn’t be true?! His dad? Regis Lucis Caelum, who is so sensitive that he could drop a piece of paper on the floor and he would burst into tears! No, his dad wouldn’t even know where to begin when it came to pranking and as for Clarus, he was Lord Shield! There was no way he would ever allow his dad to dive into that activity. No way! Noctis looked into Ardyn’s eyes to see if he was joking, and there was no hint that he was being misled in them. What… that couldn’t be true... 

“No way!” Noctis said in disbelief. 

“Yes, way. The little shits managed to shave off your grandfather’s, Mors, beard during the night. Bearing in mind Mors was an annoyingly light sleeper, and somehow they managed to pin it all on me.” Ardyn explained shivering at the punishment he had received from that. Three whole days straight locked in a room with Somnus! It was awful and he hadn’t even done anything wrong! Ardyn still needed to get Regis and Clarus back for that… Oh, wait maybe he could… but he would need Noctis’s help to do it. 

“Okay yeah that’s pretty cool, but…”

“And your father was 7 at the time.” 

Noct choked on his breath. Okay… he never realised how cool his dad was until now. 

“Shit. I never knew that about dad…” 

“Do not swear Noctis.” Ardyn rolled his eyes hating hearing words like that come out his youngest nephew’s mouth. Prom might pick the habit up. “Anyway, you are telling me you want to go up against him? I wish you the best of luck Noct.” 

Ardyn smirked turning around on his heels putting his plan into action. Noctis had always been such a sleepy and curious thing and Ardyn had planted the seed for their revenge. He knew for a fact Noctis would not be able to resist the temptation to outsmart the best prankster Lucis knew, the fact that it was his father was an added bonus. The Adagium counted to five as he walked away and within those five seconds, Noct had already made up his mind to what he wanted to do. Perfect. 

Noctis ran in front of his uncle and stopped him from leaving. “Wait! You’re pretty old and really smart. Please help me get back at dad.” 

But of course, Ardyn could not afford to make it look like he had orchestrated this. He put his hand on his heart and sounded mildly shocked. “You want me to help you get back at your father, the King, after you lost a bet with him and he was well in his rights for punishing you for being a little arsehole?” 

“...Yeah.” Noctis shrugged. 

Like fuck was Noctis wasting this opportunity! If his dad was the best prankster Ardyn knew than this was a big deal. But if Noctis somehow managed to trick his dad and get away with it… it would mean he was the best prankster. But the Prince was no fool. He knew he would need help with this. And who better than the Adagium to help him?! Maybe his grandad, or Cor even, but Noctis knew his uncle was more menacing and deceiving than anyone else he knew. Ardyn would be perfect for this he just hoped Ardyn agreed. 

And agreed he did. 

“Done.” Ardyn said without hesitation shaking his nephew’s hand. “I mean this Noctis, pranking your father is no laughing matter. You have to be sneaky about this. The moment he finds out it was you that has done this, he will hit you with the harshes, nastiest prank that Eos has ever seen. And he has a secret weapon.” 

“What’s that?” Noctis said trying not to sound too uncomfortable. 

“Lord Clarus Fucking Amicitia.” Ardyn couldn’t help but growl. “That man is the devil incarnate when it comes to pranks.” 

“Yeah well if dad’s got him. We have a secret weapon too.” Noctis smiled, already feeling a little more confident than before. 

“What is that, pray tell?” 

“Me. I am his son.” 

Ardyn laughed. Oh yes. Regis would never hurt his son. Things were already going in their favour.

* * *

_ Operation: ‘Violate The Holiness That Is Tea!’  _ was now underway and Noctis was already shaking with uncertainty. 

Thankfully both Regis and Clarus were at a conference on the other side of Insomnia at the moment, which left his dad open for a prank attack. But it didn’t stop Noctis from getting nervous and he kept looking over his shoulder in case anyone came in. After all, it was still a serious offence to break into the King’s locked private quarters no matter who you were. Noctis wouldn’t even be able to get away with this. If anyone told on him, Noctis was going to be more than grounded for a very long time. The poor Prince looked like he was going to be sick as His Grace started putting the frogs spawn into his father’s most used teapot. They were so gonna be dead if Regis ever found out it was them. 

“Won’t he think this is you though?” Noctis asked, only slightly fearing what he had gotten himself into. 

“Nope. He’ll think it is Cor.” Ardyn grinned, continuing to place the lumps goo in Regis’s teapot. Oooh Regis was going to be so pissed! Ardyn could not wait to see Regis get angry. This was going to be brilliant! 

“Are you sure?” 

“Oh Noct, a long time, around about 10 months after Cor and I first got together, Cor wanted to murder Clarus for... shall we say… invading mine and Cor’s private life, but I managed to talk him down somehow. Anyway, somewhere out there is a message from Cor saying he wanted to put frog spawn into Clarus’s tea instead of murdering him. Your father has never forgiven Cor for that ‘offensive’ remark. He’ll think it is him, trust me.” 

“Okay, let’s get this done quickly. I don’t want to get caught by grandad, he is a snitch at the best of times.” Noctis said awkwardly, truly, not wanting to know what aspect of their life Clarus had invaded. The Prince could make a pretty good guess but he did not want to be thinking about that. However, there was a flaw in his uncle’s plan that clearly had not registered in his ancient brain yet. “But Cor is so gonna know it was you though that did this.” 

“Maybe. Or… with any luck your father will prank him and Cor will lose it and he’ll never know I had anything to do with it.” Ardyn laughed with glee. In all likelihood, that was going to be the outcome. Ardyn was going to be safe from his husband’s wrath. Also, Cor was going on a mission in the next few days, so what if he found out he had something to do with this? If Cor was away, there wasn’t a lot the Marshal could do about it. Everything would play out fine. 

“You are so fucking mean to your husband sometimes. Wait a second, you suggested we do this to get uncle Cor back for something, didn’t you?” 

Ardyn huffed. Okay… This was for a petty reason but Noctis wasn’t meant to guess that. 

“He may have stolen the last cookie that we had in the house and I am pissed off by it alright.” 

“You are such a petty daemon. I am so glad Prom is nothing like you.” Noctis laughed. 

Come to think of it, Noctis hadn’t seen Prompto for a few days now. Once they had cleared up their tracks and got this over and done with, he’d call his best friend. It would be fun if he would join them in this, but Prom was too good to want to join in. That just made Noctis love his best friend more. Maybe it was for the best that he and Ardyn keep this secret to themselves. After all, Noct did not want to be on the receiving end of one of his father’s pranks. 

* * *

Regis let out a sigh. 

His leg wasn’t actually too bad today. A little aching but nothing a good warm cup of tea wouldn’t fix. Tea made everything better. The King sat in his chair, warmed up his hand using a fire spell and heated the teapot up. Once he was happy the pot was warm enough, Regis began to pour the precious liquid into the cup and read the report he had in his lap. And as Regis did this he heard a splosh. Strange. Regis raised an eyebrow and this time actually looked at what he was doing. When the King saw what was coming out of his teapot he screamed. It wasn’t a scream of terror or heartbreak it was one of pure anger. How dare someone do this to his tea! To TEA!! It was almost like someone was trying to give him a heart attack and put him into an early grave!!! This was ungodly and cruel and whoever did this was going to…

“COR LEONIS!!” 

Regis roared rising from his chair upon realising that the Marshal was the only one ballsy enough to do such a vile and criminal act. Regis didn’t even bother to pick up his cane and marched down the hidden passageway to get to Clarus’s office quicker. The King didn’t knock, he pushed himself into his Shield’s office and continued to shout. 

“Where is Cor!” 

“I don’t know.” Clarus said giving Regis an alarmed looked. What the fuck had gotten into him?

“I am firing him!” 

“Again?! What did he do this time?” 

“He took it a step too far this time! He put frog spawn in my tea! He violated tea! That is grounds for firing!” Regis shouted, close to tears with how angry and upset he was. All he wanted was a cup of tea… was that really so much to ask for? No, it fucking wasn’t!!! 

“I would love to know how your brain works sometimes.” Clarus rolled his eyes at his King’s behaviour as he walked over to Regis to get him to sit down. Regis really did tend to overreact to certain things. For example, if Noctis was hurt or upset Regis would jump to the worse conclusion. That was understandable because that was his child, but tea? Regis really needed to relax and let go of this unhealthy obsession. “Anyway, don’t fire him. He pranked you, so….” 

“Are you suggesting that I prank Cor the Immortal with my leg like this?! He will break whatever I have left of it!” Regis gasped and then took Clarus up on the offer of sitting down. Maybe his leg was worse than he thought it was today. Clarus could go and retrieve his cane for him later. 

“No, I am suggesting we prank Cor the Immortal. What do you say? It will be good to get back in the game again?” Clarus smirked. Ardyn and Somnus were probably going to have kittens when they discovered what they were doing, but who cared? Their parents weren’t here to tell them to stop it anymore. 

“I like the idea but how do we do that?” Regis asked now a lot calmer than he had been before. He loved the idea of getting his own back on Cor. 

“Come now, Reggie. This will be simple. I’ve already got a plan.”

* * *

Cor was a little worried about Prom. He and Ardyn explained Prompto’s origins to him a couple of days ago and Prom, as expected, went quiet. It was a lot of information for the poor boy to take in and Cor just wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help his son process it. That was why Prom was with him for most of the day helping him sort stuff out before Cor had to go away on a mission. Cor really didn’t want to go but Prom had Ardyn, Cerbie and Noctis so it wasn’t too bad. Still a worrying though. That was just what parents did, worry about their children 24/7. 

“You’re not going to Niflheim are you?” Prom asked, knowing he wasn’t allowed a solid answer. But he didn’t want what happened 3 years ago to repeat itself. He didn’t like it when his dad went there anymore.

“No mate. I will be in Lucis.” Cor smiled, walking over to his desk. 

“Okay…” Prom said softly, knowing Cor was lying to him. 

“Prom honestly don’t worry. I will be fine.” Cor assured his son taking a seat on his chair. 

HOOOONNNNKKKK!!!!

“FUCKING HELL!!!!!” 

Cor jumped out of his chair as quick as he could and tried not to scream at the surprise noise that had literally stopped his heart for a second. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!!! Prom looked startled as Cor angrily looked under his chair to find a horn had been taped to the seat, so when he sat on it, it would go off. Who in the name of the fucking six would… Cor let go a deep hard and long breath. He knew exactly who had done this. 

“Dad are you okay?!” Prom asked in a panic also alarmed by the sudden noise, but more concerned why his dad looked like he was about to murder someone. 

“CAELUM! AMICITIA!!!” Cor shouted, knowing that the pair would not be too far away from their handy work so they could watch it unfold and laugh. 

“What’s wrong?” Prom asked again, now really confused. 

“Regis and Clarus are fucking pranking people again!! I didn’t even do anything!” 

“Again? They used to prank people?” 

“Yes, Prom. When I get my hands on the pair, they are going to wish they hadn’t fucking done that!” 

Why did this have to happen now? Cor thought the pair had put their little pranks behind them when they officially became King and Lord Shield. But no. They were fucking messing around and quite frankly Cor did not have time for their games. He was going straight to Somnus so the Founder King would put a stop to this before it got out of hand and then go and scream at the pair asking them why they targetted him?! He hadn’t done anything to his knowledge. And now because Cor was in a mood he didn’t want to be around Prom in case he snapped at his son. Great. Regis and Clarus had spoiled some of the last quality time he had with Prom before going away for a few weeks. 

The fucking twats!!! 

Okay, now Cor was upset.

* * *

“What’s wrong, my darling?” Ardyn asked quickly as Cor stormed past Ardyn and Noctis. 

“Nothing!” Cor replied bluntly and kept walking as if he hadn’t even acknowledged that they were there.

Ardyn was worried now. Cor looked so pissed off. Well, more upset than pissed off, but because Noctis was with him, Ardyn didn’t want to make that known to the Prince. What had happened? Well, whoever upset his Marshal was going to suffer the consequences. No one upset his Marshal. 

“Cor?” Ardyn called out hoping Cor would stop. 

He didn’t. Instead, Cor got angrier and shouted over his shoulder. “Piss off Ardyn!” 

Ardyn and Noctis watched Cor disappear down the hallway and Ardyn was very concern and Noctis was a little shocked that Cor had said that in that tone to Ardyn in front of him. That wasn’t like Cor at all. When Noctis thought they were out of hearing range, he turned to Ardyn and asked. 

“What did you do?” 

“Nothing. I don’t think...” Ardyn said sadly.

Had Cerbie chewed up the sofa again? But Cor wouldn’t take that out on him at work? A horrible thought sunk into his head. Where the hell was Prom and why wasn’t he with Cor?! Just as Ardyn was about to lose it in a panic, his son’s sad voice popped up from the side of him. 

“Regis and Clarus pranked him.” 

“Oh.” Noctis said not trying to make it too obvious that that was really his and Ardyn’s fault. 

Ardyn wrapped an arm around Prom and gave him a hug. “Well, going home this evening is going to be a joy, my sunbeam.” 

“Great.” Prom said, unable to remove the sad sigh from his voice. 

“Don’t be sad, my sunbeam?” 

“Dad’s going away in a few days and this was the last day we were going to have the full day together.” 

“Oh my darling, I’ll go calm him down don’t worry.” Ardyn said quickly feeling so guilty he had been the caused that. He had completely forgotten that Cor and Prom were meant to be spending the entire day together today. If he had remembered that, he would have never of pranked Regis and Clarus until after Cor came back from his mission. Ardyn quickly walked after his husband and called out. “Cor! My Marshal! You walk incredibly quickly! Wait for me we need to talk!” 

Noctis felt as much guilt as his uncle was feeling. This wasn’t fair on Prom. How could they be so selfish and upset Prompto? That wasn’t on. What type of friend did that? Noct nervously rubbed the back of his neck and apologise for what had taken place. 

“Sorry, Prom this was mine and Ardyn’s fault.” 

“Huh?” 

“We pranked dad and put the blame on Cor. Sorry.” 

Prom gave Noct a weak smile and gave him a nudge. He didn’t blame him it was all just fun and games wasn’t it? It wasn’t like Noctis or even Ardyn knew of his and Cor’s plans today. “That’s okay. Dad will sort it out, hopefully.” 

“I am sure he will.” Noctis smiled back, still amazed with how chill Prom was about this. He envied him sometimes for this awesome trait. But then again, Prom didn’t have a bad cell in his body. 

Literally on the other side of the door near to where Noctis and Prompto were having their conversation, Regis and Clarus stood and were a little taken back by the Prince’s confession. They were surprised. Noctis and Ardyn had managed to outsmart them. That was impressive, but Noctis had made a huge mistake in telling Prompto the truth. A very big one. Because now the King and Shield knew who was really behind the violation of tea!

“We are going to have to apologise to Cor.” Clarus said, ready to call Cor to tell him their location. 

Regis nodded and a cat-like grin appeared on his face. “Yes, we are. But now we have new targets!” 

“Prank war?” 

“Noct and Ardyn aren’t going to know what hit them.” 


	2. Back In The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a long time since I updated this.... here you go!!!
> 
> Please enjoy :)

Regis and Clarus tried their hardest not to burst into fits of laughter as Somnus stood in front of them telling them off like they were 10 and 15 again. And he’d been going on for about 30 minutes now. The King and Shield understood it was wrong of them to assume it was Cor who had done the prank but this was just getting boring now. All they wanted to do was get Ardyn and Noctis back for that horrible prank. Well, Regis thought it was ungodly and Clarus just thought it was funny, but was he about to let his King know he found it funny? Hell no! Regis would prank Clarus if he even caught wind that he found this the tiniest bit funny. No, it was much easier for the pair of them to keep their mouths shut until the Founder King was finished. However long that would be… 

“Do you two understand me?” Somnus finished breathing sharply through his nose. He honestly thought all of this was behind the pair. For the rest of Citadel’s sake anyway.

“Who is meant to be King again?” Regis questioned with a cheeky grin on his face. 

“REGIS!!” 

“You, Your Majesty.” Clarus smiled as he saw the anger on Somnus’s face spread. 

“Stop it now! You know you aren’t meant to do this! You are King and Shield grow up!” Somnus growled. This was ridiculous. They were grown men now, not children or teenagers. And they needed to start acting like adults. 

“It is a bit of fun.” Regis said defending himself. 

“It will only be aimed at Ardyn and Noctis, I promise.” Clarus said trying to convince Somnus to see it their way. 

Clarus knew there was no way in hell Somnus was going to actually let them do this. Not after all the times he and Regis had gotten Somnus in trouble with Mors for their pranks. Or the time they put a table over him while the Former King was sleeping, and then blasted a horn so he would wake up and wack his head on the table. Somnus hit his head so hard that he knocked himself out. Those were some good times… shame they couldn’t do it anymore. 

Somnus didn’t give a fuck. His voice became sharper and his nostrils flared up as he spoke. “I don’t care if you aim this at fucking Bahamut. This is stopping now. You have already upset two people. Two people who you care about very much. So, no more. I don’t think I can make myself any clearer.” 

“Okay let’s make a deal.” Regis smiled leaning forward in his chair. 

“No!” Somnus snapped. He had always hated Regis’s selective hearing! 

“If Ardyn or Noctis prank us first..” 

“No.” 

“... then we get to retaliate. We pranked Cor, not them.” 

“He has a point, Somnus.” Clarus nodded in agreement. Poor Cor. They really needed to make it up to him somehow. Shame he had now gone on a mission and there was nothing they could do to make up for it. 

“No.” Somnus shouted that time. “No more pranking. No pranks. No nothing!” 

“Okay….” Regis whined. But he was far from out. The King had a trick up his sleeve that he knew Somnus would not be able to resist because Somnus hated the sight of it and would do anything for Regis to stop doing it. Regis made his lip quiver, made his eyes watery and pretended to be upset by what was going on. “One time? Please grandfather? No one will get hurt. Pleasseeee…..” 

“I am going for a nap.” Somnus said having enough and leaving. 

Somnus hated seeing any of his grandchildren close to tears, fake or not. After seeing Regis’s and Noctis’s tears after the events of Tenebrae…. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look at it and he had to leave before he became upset. 

“Okay, so is that a yes?” Regis called out after his grandfather but got no response. 

“I think that is a yes Reggie.” Clarus laughed. 

With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Regis looked at his Shield and sarcastically gasped. “But Clarus… Noctis and Ardyn already pranked us!” 

“And your grandfather didn’t say that we couldn’t retaliate.” Clarus smirked evilly, ideas hatching away as to how they were going to get both Noctis and Ardyn back for this. Clarus loved pranking people. Absolutely loved it. Clarus would happily say he was a little shit. There was this one time, he pranked his mother by making robotic spiders crawl about their home. He was grounded for weeks for that. But it was so worth it. And pranking the Immortal Adagium and the future King of Lucis was also going to be worth it. 

“This is why you are my best friend.” Regis cheered, patting Clarus on the shoulder with pride. 

Before Clarus could say another word he received a message on his personal phone. 

_ Ping _

“Sorry, it’s probably Iris.” Clarus said, quickly getting his phone out. 

Iris hadn’t been very well for the last couple of days, so Clarus assumed that the text was for him to pick up painkillers on his way back from work, or ice cream, or her complaining that Gladio was teasing her about something or other. How Clarus wished he could be at home when either of his children were ill. It saddened him he couldn’t be a proper parent to them sometimes. Usually, if this was to happen, Cor would take over as Shield for a day or two but unfortunately, Cor wasn’t here to take his place and Drautos was too busy at the moment with the glaive. Clarus was so grateful he had Jared at home looking after his son and daughter. So grateful. 

“Is she okay?” Regis asked quickly, knowing the pain of not being able to be there for your own child when they really needed you.

“I don’t know. Because Iris hasn’t texted me. It’s from Marshal Leonis. And look what it says:” Clarus said, putting the phone in Regis’s face. When the King saw it a massive smile appeared. 

**_Cor: Get Ardyn back for the prank he put on you! NOW!_ **

As soon as Regis and Clarus discovered the truth, they apologised to Cor for their mistake and explained who was really behind the prank. It just made the Marshal more livid but he chose not to act upon his rage because he had Prom to think about. Cor spent the day with his son and husband and said nothing on the matter. Regis and Clarus were thankful for that because it meant that Ardyn or Noctis was none the wiser to the pair really knowing who had set up the prank. But it would seem that was Cor’s plan all along. To get Ardyn back for being a shit towards him. And Regis and Clarus loved it! 

“I mean we have too now. Our little brother has asked it of us. It would be frowned upon if we didn’t” 

“Agreed.” 

This was going to be fun. 

* * *

“Did Cor get off alright?” Noctis asked as he chased his uncle down the hallway. 

“Do not talk about my husband. I am already on the verge of crying.” Ardyn sniffed, already missing Cor to death. 

Whenever Cor went away it sent Ardyn’s head into a frenzy. Because what would happen if Cor was killed and Ardyn didn’t tell him he loved him for a final time? Or what if Cor did something stupid to get rid of his frustration from the prank Regis and Clarus did to him and got injured? That made Ardyn feel horrible because it would all be Ardyn’s fault if that happened and Ardyn wouldn’t be able to live with that guilt. (Well he would be forced too, but he wouldn’t want to) Ardyn already loathed it when Cor left Insomnia, now because of this, he felt on edge and wanted to cry with worry and frustration. Ardyn really hated his head and the daemons. They always did this to him. 

Noct raised his hand in the air, to show his uncle he didn’t mean to hit a swore spot. And as the young Prince spoke his voice got quieter. “Okay… sorry. I am sure Cor is okay. Anyway, do you think dad and Clarus suspect anything?” 

“No.” 

Ardyn shook his head, trying to focus on the fact they hadn’t been caught so he could stop worrying about Cor. What if his Marshal did die? He would have to continue to raise Prom by himself! No! Ardyn couldn’t do that! Why wouldn’t the little buggers stop whispering this nasty shit at him?!

“You really are upset.” 

“Of course I am!” 

“Why? Cor goes away all the time.” Noctis said scratching the back of his neck. His uncle could be very unstable sometimes. 

“I don’t care.” Ardyn snapped, eyes starting to fill up with the scourge. Noctis was not helping him at all. In fact, his nephew was making him sadder. 

“My partner in crime is the scarest being of all time and he is crying because he can’t have one person near him? Grow up Ardyn.” Noctis huffed, not understanding how clingy his uncle could be. 

Ardyn narrowed his eyes at his nephew and tried his hardest not to bare his teeth at him in a spike of rage. “You are lucky I love you, or you wouldn’t have a head anymore for that remark.” 

“That’s just nasty.” 

“You’re a brat.”

“You two stop fighting!”

Somnus said sternly. He heard them arguing and quite frankly, Somnus did not want the age of darkness to come now. The Founder King knew his brother would never willingly hurt Noctis, but whenever the pair fought it did scare him. Because one slip… and that was it. Somnus looked at Ardyn and he looked so upset, more than likely about Cor leaving, and as for his little shit of a grandson, he just looked annoyed. Great. Why did he have to be the one to deal with this? Why did he choose to get involved? They never listened to him anyway. 

“Sorry, grandad. Uncle Ardyn is being a baby.” Noctis mumbled, not really caring for the death glare that was being shot his way. 

“He misses Cor leave him alone, Noctis.” 

“Aww!!! My baby brother does love me! Thank you, Somnus.” Ardyn smiled, placing Somnus in a headlock before ruffling his hair. 

“Get off!” Somnus ordered, pushing his brother off him. He did love Ardyn very much, he just hated being around him for longer than what was required of him. That sounded a little harsh… but that didn’t matter. Somnus had actually come here for a reason, a reason he didn’t want to be a part of, but who was he to deny the King of Lucis’s an order. He’d be fucking smart if he wasn’t here… oh well. “Ignis wants you two.” 

“Iggy? Iggy wants Ardyn?” Noctis asked in a surprised tone. 

“Noct shut up.” 

“I don’t know. He asked me very politely if I could get the Prince of Lucis and His Grace to see him at once. It is more than likely has something to do with the prophecy but I didn’t stop and ask. My bit is done, I am going for a nap.” Somnus yawned, leaving the pair to stare blankly at each other. 

Noctis and Ardyn grew very curious and decided to humour Ignis. They went to the Prince’s private quarters and found when they went into the room no one was there. Odd. When Noctis ran towards his TV he found a note stuck to it, telling the pair to go to the library at once. It was in Ignis’s handwriting the pair didn’t suspect the fact that they might be walking into a trap. To save on walking and ended up on a wild goose chase, Ardyn kindly teleported them to the library and again Ignis wasn’t there. Again, another piece of paper was on the table telling them that he would arrive in 10 minutes and that they were to wait. Again, there was no reason for either Noctis or Ardyn to think anything of it because Noct was meant to have a class with Ignis in about 15 minutes time, so the note made sense. And because Ardyn was too upset on missing Cor, it didn’t register in his head that something might be up. So the pair waited for Ignis to arrive, but Mr Scientia didn’t show. Instead, Prompto did. 

“Hey, dad! Hey Noct!” Prom said happily as he walked into the room with a tray. The tray had a jug of juice on it and four glasses and some Oreos.

“Hey Prom!” 

“Hello, My Sunbeam! What have you got there?” Ardyn asked with a smile.

“Oh, Iggy asked me to bring these. He said he is running a little late and he didn’t want you two waiting without any food.” Prom smiled placing it on the table. 

“This is why I love Iggy.” Noctis said rubbing his hands together before pouring himself a glass of the orange liquid. 

“That is very kind of both of you my dear.” Ardyn hummed in delight, picking up an Oreo. He wasn’t really hungry, but right now he was willing to do anything to stop thinking about Cor. Gods, Ardyn was so lucky he had Prom here. He’d probably go crazy without his son here.

Before another word could be spoken, Noctis took a sip of his drink and Ardyn took a bite of the cookie and in the same second the pair both retched. Noctis spat the juice across the room and scraped his tongue with his fingernails. That wasn’t fucking orange juice that was cheese! Fucking cheese in running liquid form with lumps in it! As for Ardyn, he got a mouth full of toothpaste. He spat whatever he had taken a bit off out and shook his head in disgust. He was mainly upset he didn’t get some food more than anything else. What the hell was this crap! 

Prom’s eyes widened in horror, as he had no idea what had happened. “Dad! Noct! What’s wrong!?” 

Noctis shook his head and tried to get rid of the vile taste out of his mouth. “Prom?! What is that?!” 

“Juice and Oreos?” Prom said sheepishly. 

“No, it isn’t!” 

“Sunbeam… I got a mouth full of toothpaste.” Ardyn explained, knowing full well that Prompto would never do something like this to him or Noct willingly. 

“Iggy just told me to place it in here. I am really sorry.” 

“Don’t worry, my darling. We know this isn’t your fault.” 

“Yeah, and it isn’t Ignis’s either.” Noctis grumbled.

“I believe you are right, dear Noct.” Ardyn growled. 

Regis and Clarus must have done this. Fine. If the pair wanted a war. They got one. This war was not going to be a pleasant one either.

* * *

“They are going to get us back for this, Reggie.” Clarus warned as he helped Regis get to his feet from the throne. 

“Let them.” Regis smiled, trying to forget about the fact that Clarus now had to help him do a lot of things now. 

It was kind of dehumanising. Some days he would be okay. His leg injury wouldn’t hurt as much and he would only need to use his cane to get him around and help him stand up. But on bad days, like today, he needed both his cane and Shield to get him up and about. But Regis had to keep pushing on. He could do this and he wasn’t bed bound yet, so he was fine. Also, he didn’t want Noctis to see him hurting or seeing what his future may be like… that was too much pressure for his baby to handle. 

“They know it was us.” Clarus said, hoping Regis would take this seriously. Ardyn could be outright evil when he wanted to be. 

“It is fine, Clarus. You worry too much. Anyway, an eye for an eye. They pranked us first and we got them back.” 

“Ummm. Still…” 

“Stop you’re flapping it will be okay.” Regis assured his Shield as he began to waddle down the staircase. Why did he have to walk up and down these steps every day? Why couldn’t the throne be on the floor? That was just one of the many questions he had asked his grandfather and had never, ever, got a clear answer for. Somnus was a real pain sometimes. 

The pair continued to talk as they walked down the steps. They weren’t even plotting anything to get Ardyn or Noctis back, they were discussing their children and what they hoped the future would bring for them when all of a sudden Regis misjudged his footing. He fell face-first down the last step and landed on his bad knee. He yelped in pain and Clarus quickly rushed to his side to make sure he was okay. The King was not okay. His entire body shook with pain and by the looks of it, the poor man had dislocated his knee. The guards were quickly called in and Regis was rushed to the medical wing immediately to have his knee safely put back in place. But all of this confused Clarus. He and Regis walk down those steps at least three times a day, every day, there was no way Regis could have misjudged where the staircase ended. So when he knew Regis was safe and Somnus was with him, Clarus went back to the throne room and noticed something. The red carpet that was always on the steps was no longer on the bottom step. That meant when you walked down them, it camouflaged the bottom step to make it look like the rest of the stone flooring. 

Okay, that wasn’t funny. Regis could have seriously hurt himself. Clarus knew exactly who had done it… Ardyn.

* * *

“Dad! Dad! Are you okay?” Noctis said quickly rushing into the room.

“I am fine Noctis honest. I just took a bit of a tumble nothing more.” Regis smiled weakly through his pain. Even with the pain killers it felt like someone had put a rusty nail through his knee. 

Noctis hugged his dad and shook his head. The Prince had no idea that Ardyn had done that because if he did he would have never agreed to this. It was one thing pranking people, but it was a completely different story when the ones you loved got hurt. 

“Okay, but no walking for a day or two please.” 

“I have to walk son.” Regis said, not liking how worried his only child was. 

“I don’t care. You stay here and grandad can do all your work. I don’t… I don’t want you to be in any pain.” 

Regis held Noctis tighter and his smile got brighter. “Okay. If it makes you feel better.” 

“Thank you.”

* * *

Clarus was in a mood now. First, Iris wasn’t well and now Regis had been hurt. As Regis was occupied with Noctis, Clarus went and looked for Ardyn to give him a piece of his mind. The Shield was so fucking angry that Ardyn would even think that was a good idea. It clearly wasn’t and it would seem that Ardyn had to be fucking told that! When Clarus found the immortal daemon wondering round the hallways, he didn’t hold back on the shouting either. 

“That wasn’t funny. Regis could have been seriously hurt.” 

“If I am honest, Amicitia, it was for you. Not for him.” Ardyn said sadly. 

He didn’t mean for Regis to get hurt that was the last thing Ardyn wanted. All he wanted to do was for Clarus to have a jump scare. Ardyn felt so guilty he didn’t want to go and see Regis in pain. That was why he was walking around the Citadel so no one important would bump into him and tell him that the King needed him. But that plan failed because Clarus was here. 

Clarus shook his head as rage started to surface. “I don’t care. This may be a funny little game, but you took it too far. Now, you have to tell Regis it was you or I will.” 

“I know.” 

“If he gets hurt again, I am telling Cor what you did when he gets back. Then you won’t be saying ‘I know.’” Clarus snapped with poison. Ardyn was fucking lucky Cor wasn’t here, otherwise, the pair would get into the biggest argument they would probably ever have because Ardyn’s actions hurt someone they both loved and cared about. 

“It was an accident. I didn’t mean too.” Ardyn said again, trying to show Clarus how terrible he felt. 

“So. Go and apologise now!” 

“I am going!”


	3. Danger and Stupidity

“Shut up and face the wall.” 

Drautos ordered as he glared at Nyx who immediately did as he was told. He had no idea why he put up with this glaive half the time, he caused him nothing but trouble and he and Glaive Pretium had this ability to get under his skin to the point were he deeply considered killing them both. Nyx thought it would be hilarious to bring a paint gun into the training hall and shoot everyone. In Ulric’s defence, he said ‘but His Majesty, His Highness, His Grace and Lord Amicitia are all pranking each other so I thought it was okay.’ That wasn’t a defence and it only angered Drautos more. The Captain was just glad that none of the other glaives had been stupid enough to follow Ulric’s lead because that would have made his mood plummet and Ulric would more than likely been sacked on the spot. Why did he even bother in taking this fucking job again? Oh yeah, to kill the King. Well, His Grace nearly did that two days ago… it was a shame he didn’t in the twisted Captain’s opinion. But there was always next time… right? 

The door opened and Drautos stood up purely on principle and gave an unwilling bow to the person who had walked through the door. 

“Lord Amicitia.” 

“Captain Drautos. I hope training is going well.” Clarus nodded, a little confused why the glaive’s training hall was empty at this hour. 

“It would be if Ulric hadn’t been a prat.” Drautos spat in Nyx’s direction and the glaive was still facing the wall. 

“Sorry.” Nyx said sheepishly not wanting to turn around. It did appear rude not doing so but Drautos scared him a lot more than the King’s Shield did and he knew it was in his best interest not to disobey an order in front of both of his and the Captain’s boss. He would definitely get the sack if he did that now. 

“Anyway, Lord Amicitia, what can I help you with?” 

“I need someone to… this is private Ulric would you mind leaving?” 

Clarus asked, knowing that the fewer people he got involved in his little revenge plan against Ardyn was for the better. Also, Clarus knew how much Ardyn hated Drautos, and he could sense that the feeling was in part mutual. To the Shield, if anyone was willing to help him get Ardyn back while Regis recovered it was the Captain of the Kingsglaive. Because Drautos wasn’t an idiot, he knew what Clarus was trying to do. But like hell was he stupid enough to actually start anything with that immortal insane daemon. He’d be fucking dead within seconds and that was something Drautos would very much like to avoid until he had topped Regis. 

Instead, the Captain made a suggestion, he cleared his throat and pointed towards Nyx. “Does this have anything to do with His Grace’s prank on His Majesty. Because if it is, he is the perfect person to help you with whatever you are about to ask.” 

“Sir, you said I wasn’t to… okay!” Nyx started as he turned around to face his bosses, but he clammed up rather quickly as he did not want to get into any more trouble than he was already in. 

The King’s Shield grinned and looked at Nyx. “Thank you. Ulric, you are getting a promotion.” 

* * *

Ardyn unlocked his car and shook his head at his son as they both got into the car ready to go home after being at the Citadel for a few hours. “Why did you call your father on me, Prompto Leonis.” 

“Because I was worried about uncle Regis and these pranks have gone too far now.” Prom said, finding it a little strange he even had to justify his reasoning for calling Cor. 

It had gone too far. Someone had gotten hurt and when Prom handed Ardyn the phone, Cor nearly went mental at him. Thankfully, the fact that Regis hadn’t been severely hurt went in Ardyn’s favour and he made Ardyn promise not to do any more pranks. Because Cor wasn’t meant to be calling anyone, Ardyn quickly agreed and told his husband to hurry up with his mission and get home safely. But that didn’t change the fact that Prompto had ratted him out. What happened to pinkie swears? Did they mean nothing anymore? 

“Not far enough if you ask me.” Ardyn muttered under his breath as he started up the car engine and drove off towards the exit of the Citadel car park. 

“Dad, you know it isn’t safe.” 

“Nor is driving but more than half the adult population do it, My Sunbeam.” 

Prom rolled his eyes and tapped on Gladio’s name on his phone to text him. Then something caught Prom’s attention. He could smell fumes. Prom held his nose and turned to his dad. “Your car stinks.” 

“Do you want to walk home?” Ardyn asked sharply. His poor car, no one, not even Cid, showed the old girl any love. 

“If you make me do that I’ll call dad again.” 

“He’s not meant to answer his phone when he is on a mission you know that.” 

“You’re not meant to hurt the King, but you did that. Noct is so pissed off by the way.” Prom said sadly, a little upset that he couldn’t comfort his friend. Noct was spending what time he could with his own dad, until Regis was okay, and it meant that they hadn’t seen much of each other. From what Prom could tell though by the text and the few interactations they had had, Noct wanted his own revenge on Ardyn.

“I didn’t mean too.” Ardyn said sadly, driving out of the gates and onto the road towards their house. 

When they got to the first set of traffic lights Prom felt something wet hit his head. He looked up at the sky and another droplet fell on his face. Oh great… this was the why he prefered going in Cor’s car. At least that one had a roof and there was no risk that they would get soaked by a very common weather spell. 

“Dad… it’s starting to rain.” Prom said worryingly, and wondering whether he should just teleport home instead. It wasn’t an emergency but… 

“We will get home before then.” Ardyn waved it off, tapping his fingers against the wheel just as the lights were beginning to turn green. Well, luck seemed to be on their side and with that Ardyn drove forward. 

“No, we won’t.” Prom shook his head and not merely a second later the heavens opened up and the pair were soaked in a little under 3 seconds. Prom stole Ardyn’s hat off his head and tried his best to keep his hair dry. Just their luck the window had already been covered in water and Prom could hardly see a thing. “You can’t see a thing out of this windows.” 

“Alright than your Highness.” 

Ardyn shook his head to try and shake the water from his hair and turned on the windscreen wipers and he soon wished he hadn’t. Thick layers of rainbow coloured paint caked the windscreen and Ardyn’s first reaction wasn’t to slow down, he quickly threw his arm in front of Prom and tried his hardest to keep the car straight in the hopes that they didn’t crash. That was no good. Out of nowhere, a truck, that had blasted through the red lights, slammed into the side of the car that Ardyn was sitting on and sent the car spiralling out of control. And because Ardyn only had one hand on the steering wheel Ardyn had no control and they were pushed into the lamp post. Ardyn did try his hardest to break, but the truck was too fast and it broke Ardyn’s car door and the breaks were hardly working. Ardyn’s head smacked against the steering wheel and Prom only jolted forward slightly because Ardyn was still holding his arm out in front of his child to protect him. 

Ardyn lifted his head up slowly and he felt the scourge trickle down his face. The rattling noise that was swarming his head meant nothing to him, his blurry vision didn’t matter, the icy rain didn’t bother him, the person who drove into his car was not his main concern, Prompto was. Ardyn slowly turned his head to look at Prom and his grip on his son’s arm got tighter. 

“Prompto, are you okay?” Ardyn asked in a panic, but when he didn’t get a response straight away his heart dropped and he moved quicker than he should have to shake his son. “Prompto!”

“I am fine!” 

Prompto breathed out quickly, looking around him. His heart was racing and he was shaking with shock as to what had just happened and his head was throbbing from where he whacked it on the side of the car. It all happened so fast, like a flash of a torchlight. Prompto held on to Ardyn’s arm and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to move as his heart was pumping blood around his body so quickly. 

“Right, okay. Don’t panic. We need to get out of the car.” Ardyn breathed calmly, trying his hardest to block out the man who had gotten out of the truck to help them. Ardyn was ready to kill that man for nearly killing his baby. 

“Dad.” Prom gulped smelling smoke this time instead of fumes. “I think the car is on fire.” 

“Fuck!” 

Ardyn teleported a good distance away from the piled up cars and held Prompto close to him. When Ardyn noticed that Prompto had blood in his hair, he let out a growl. He was ready to fucking murder now! Thankfully the police, the fire department and the ambulance service got there quickly otherwise there would have been a blood bath.

* * *

“PROMPTO COULD HAVE DIED!” 

Ardyn screamed staring down at his nephew who he thought was behind the paint on his windscreen. In reality, the paint had nothing to do with the crash, it was the drunk driver, but Ardyn just wanted to blame someone who wasn’t currently being held in a prison cell while his precious baby boy was in his old quarters getting much needed rest, with Ignis Scientia watching over him. But when Noct looked up at him he looked terrified as the poor Prince didn’t have a clue what he was on about.

“What? Is he okay?” 

“No! Why did you put paint on my windscreen wiper?” 

Noct’s eyes widened. Who in their right mind thought that was a clever prank?! “What? Do you really think that I am that stupid to put paint on your fucking car! Can I see Prompto?!”

Ardyn was about to scream no and continue to blame Noctis for this but he could just imagine Cor talking to him trying his hardest to calm him down and it worked. The words that Noctis spoke started to make sense in his head and Ardyn didn’t know what to think… Noct really hadn’t done this? 

“You really had nothing to do with this?” Ardyn questioned, allowing his rage to bubble down slowly. After all, he didn’t want to accidentally hurt Noctis for this.

“No! I would never hurt someone like that.” Noctis explained just wanting to check on his best friend. 

“Right, okay. I believe you. Let’s… let’s go and see Prom.”

Noctis ran there and burst opened the door and was crying with relief that Prompto was okay. Maybe this prank thing was not a good idea. First, his dad got hurt and now his best friend. No. Noctis was not doing anymore, this was just stupid.

“You okay buddy?” Noctis smiled, wiping his tears away.

“Yeah, Iggy made me tea.” Prom smiled back, he had a concussion but Ignis was looking after him well enough. 

“I am always happy to help you Prompto.” 

“Yes, thank you, Mr Scientia,” Ardyn said sitting in a chair not too far away from his son, nephew and his nephew’s hand. Like hell was he leaving Prompto… shit Cerbie. He needed a walk and some food. Why wasn’t Cor here when he needed him? 

“My pleasure Your Grace.” Ignis nodded, handing Ardyn a cup of tea as well. The poor man looked like he needed it. 

“Thank the Gods you are okay!” Noctis breathed out heavily and he was about to shoot himself in the foot for his choice of words but his uncle didn’t say anything on the matter. 

“I am okay. Don’t worry. Dad? What about Cerbie?” 

“Don’t worry about him Sunbeam, I’ll get Somnus to walk him.” 

“Dad, Cerbie will eat him.” 

“I don’t really care.” 

“Your Grace, Noctis and I can look after Prompto if you like.” Ignis suggested knowing that there was no way Noct was going to do any of his tutoring this evening. He might as well stay and do what he could to help Prom. 

“Are you sure?” Ardyn asked, very grateful for Ignis’s kindness. 

“Certainly.” 

“Right, okay. I won’t be long.” Ardyn said standing up. 

He gave Prom a kiss on the head and disappeared to his house. After the walk he was going to take Cerbie back to the Citadel, there was no way Cerbie would settle if he knew Prom was hurt and there was nothing he could to help him.

* * *

“I am okay now.” Regis said as he and Clarus walked down the hallway. 

“Maybe these pranks are getting out of hand?” 

Clarus said lowly, feeling so guilty about Ardyn’s and Prom’s crash. He knew it wasn’t exactly his fault, but Somnus had ripped him a new one about these pranks. And Ardyn’s car… Cid was going to go ballistic when he saw what had become of the hunk of junk. 

“It was just my knee and I am as right as rain now.” Regis laughed, as he had not been told what had happened a little less than two hours ago. 

“I am partly to blame for Ardyn crashing his car and Prom got caught up in it.” 

Both the men stopped and they looked at each other with panic. Clarus did manage to explain what had happened in detail before Regis thought it was a good idea to run on his bruised and injured knee. But the explanation did nothing to soothe both of their worries, they just hoped Ardyn wasn’t going to lose it. 

“Clarus that wasn’t you’re fault. Do you know if Prompto was okay?” Regis asked, trying to move Clarus in the direction to where their honorary nephew was resting. 

Clarus nodded and they started to walk again. “Yes. Best not tell Cor though, not even Prom or Ardyn want him to find out.” 

“Probably for the best, Cor will not be happy. Right, maybe we should stop.” Regis concluded, slowly beginning to understand why his father had put a stop to him and Clarus acting like children all those years ago. It was dangerous but then again, the crash wasn’t Clarus’s fault... 

“Yes…”

However, there was something in the back of Regis’s mind telling him it was okay. It wasn’t but he couldn’t shake off the feeling and he knew Clarus felt the same way. And they couldn’t prank Ardyn and Regis still hadn’t fully got Noctis back for the tea situation yet. Maybe one more prank, if it was clean, wouldn’t hurt. 

Regis cleared his throat and spoke with caution. “But…. I mean we could do a little prank. Like something were no one will get hurt.” 

“Regis.” Clarus said carefully, not sure if he was liking where this was going. 

“One more.” 

“You are addicted to this.” 

“So are you.”

* * *

“DAD!!!!!!” 

Noctis shouted at his dad as he marched into the dining room where his father and grandfather were waiting for him to join them for dinner. Noctis was furious. In his hand he had his favourite, SEALED AND NEWLY PACKAGED PS1 game. But the thing was that someone had wrapped it in duct tape! Fucking duck tape! It was a fucking collectable and he knew his dad had done it! Noctis didn’t want any part of this anymore and nor should his dad! 

“Yes.” Regis said calmly, sipping at his soup.

“WHAT THE FUCK!!! THIS WAS A COLLECTABLE GAME! YOU PUT DUCT TAPE OVER IT!!!!”

“Regis this is enough now.” Somnus said bitterly, rubbing the sides of his face. He wanted this to end before it even began but no one was listening to him… this was all going to end in tears soon. 

“But no one got hurt.” Regis said innocently, a little concerned why no one saw the humour in this prank. 

Noctis stamped his foot on the ground and screamed. “Not yet!!! If I can’t fix this you aren’t my dad anymore!!!” 

“Noct…” Regis said feeling his heartbreak in two. His son didn’t mean that? Surely not?

“I am going to see Ignis!” Noctis shouted a final time before leaving. 

He wasn’t fucking hungry anymore and he didn’t want to see his dad for doing this. Plus this was a birthday gift that Ignis got him last year. This was so fucking stupid! Why couldn’t his dad be fucking normal! 

“Now will you tell me no one got hurt.” Somnus stated giving Regis a look of disapproval. 

“It was only a game.” Regis said, trying not to cry from Noct’s rage and hurtful words. 

“You need to learn that this isn’t funny.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Please can you just grow up.” Somnus huffed going back to eating his food. 

Maybe Regis might listen to him after this. He bloody well hoped he did anyway.

* * *

Noctis and Clarus might be out but Ardyn was not. He was so angry about Prompto still and even angrier that Prom wouldn’t allow him to tell Cor anything. Yes, it may have gotten out of hand, but in Ardyn’s eyes, Amicitia needed to be taught a lesson. He needed to know that he was not getting away with helping Regis prank him or anything like that. It was the scourge in him that told Ardyn what to go for to get at Clarus Amicitia. And that was to go for the children. Ardyn ignored that for obvious reasons because he loved Gladiolus and Iris and never in a million years would he hurt them, but… he could use them to get back at Lord Shield. 

“You want us to help you get our dad back for pranking you.” Gladio said sternly, not sure whether this was a good idea or not. 

“Yes.” Ardyn nodded proudly.

“He won’t get hurt will he?” Iris asked innocently, still wearing her PJ’s, sitting on her brother’s shoulders.

“No, I promise he won’t.” 

“We can help you then.” Gladio replied, really hoping he had made the right decision… after all, this could be fun. 

“It will be fun. I have the best prank lined up.” Iris squealed in delight, making Ardyn laugh.

“We are not pretending to be dead Iris.” 

“Oh, that would have gotten him for sure.” Iris pouted, resting her arms on her brother’s head. 

“You are a morbid little thing, aren’t you?” Ardyn snorted. Yep, she was definitely her father’s daughter. 

“She is like that. But I do have an idea.”

* * *

“Don’t feel bad Ulric. His Grace’s breaks were faulty and the man driving the car was drunk.” Drautos grumbled, really not wanting to comfort the glaive, as Nyx stood there in his office fiddling with his thumbs. 

“I know… I just feel bad.” 

“Shit happens. You know this. So deal with it and look at the facts.”

Drautos didn’t care if he was being insensitive. He was actually rather pissed off the blonde Prince hadn’t died. The Captain had purposely tampered with the breaks and still, the boy managed to survive all thanks to his daemon infested father. 

Fucking daemons he could have got one of the royals out of the way with that crash. 


	4. This Ends NOW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was a tad longer than I thought it was going to be. Never mind!!!
> 
> Please enjoy XD

Clarus raced home a lot faster than he should have. He was just sitting with Regis when all of a sudden he got a text from Gladio telling him to come home now. Because that wasn’t like his son at all he went without question. The Shield had no idea what to think. Iris was better now but what if her health had progressed? Then why didn’t Jared text him? Was Jared okay? Was Gladio okay? Okay, now he was very worried. He parked outside the front of the manor for one of the members of staff to park it for him and rushed into his home quickly. 

“Iris?” Clarus called out knowing that his daughter would respond straight away. When that failed he shouted louder. “Gladiolus?”

“Lord Amicitia, you’re back early.” Jared said, walking into the hallway to greet his friend and boss. 

Clarus let out a massive sigh. At least Jared was alright and he didn’t look too worried so… why did Gladio call him out here? What the hell was going on? “Hello, Jared. Gladio sent me a message telling me to get back here quick. Is everything alright?” 

“Oh yes, everything is perfectly alright. Nothing to worry about.” Jared replied with a smile. 

“Good. Do you know where the children are?” 

“Lord Gladiolus and Lady Iris are currently in the garden, Mi’Lord.” 

“Thank you, very much.” Clarus nodded. 

That was something at least. That meant Iris was well enough to go outside and as for Gladio, he was more than likely showing her how to climb a tree or something. As long as they were okay Clarus really didn’t care. But that still didn’t explain why Gladio wanted him home at once. This was all very strange. Well, his best bet was to go and find his two little hooligans and make sure they weren’t up to no good. 

“Bolognese is for dinner tonight. Since you are here, Mi’Lord, I will tell the cook you are eating with the children.” 

“Thank you. Jared are you free to eat with us tonight?” Clarus smiled before wandering off towards the back door of the house. He missed chatting with Jared and it would be nice for all four of them to eat together tonight. This was a real rarity to be happening so they better savour it while they could. 

“Your Lordship is very kind.” Jared said in a grateful tone before walking towards the kitchen. 

Clarus made his way out into the garden and nothing. This was a problem with having an estate, the garden was fucking huge. And there had been many a time where Clarus lost both of his children for a couple of hours because they decided it would be funny to run around their massive garden and hide for as long as they could. Clarus really hoped that his children weren’t doing this now. With a sigh full of annoyance, he made the trek around the garden. He checked the front, nothing. He checked the maze they had. Neither of them were there. He checked the play area and he couldn’t see Iris on the swing set, or Gladio training using the punching bag. He looked in the different patches of flowers they had around the garden and he still couldn’t find them. Where the hell could they possibly be… 

“Where have they gotten too? Gladio?! Iris?!”

Clarus called out and again he didn’t get a direct response but he did hear a faint giggle coming from his personal flower garden. Why where they in there? They weren’t allowed near there and he had told them that many times in the past and they never listened to him. He didn’t know why he was at all surprised. Both of them were very similar to him. 

The Shield walked towards the flower beds and the smell of smoke filled the late afternoon air. And just over the hill, directly where his flower garden was, Clarus saw grey smoke and a hint of orange flame. Without even thinking he started to run towards the smoke and his heart was racing because he knew what was where Gladiolus and Iris were, he had to make sure they were okay! They had to be okay! When he got to the top he saw his two children throwing pieces of wood on the fire that was ignited by his flowers. Clarus’s panicked reached new heights at seeing his 8 year-old-daughter and 16-year-old son near that open flame and he didn’t hide the fear or anger from his voice as he made his way down to them. 

“GLADIOLUS! IRIS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!” 

“Hi, daddy!” Iris cheered as she ran over to him and gave him a hug. Instantly Clarus held her close. Thank goodness she hadn’t fallen into the fire. 

“Hey, dad.” Gladio smiled throwing another piece of wood on to the flames. 

Clarus shook his head and placed Iris behind him and waved for Gladio to step away from the flames and come over to him at once. Not only was he scared and angry because his children were being fucking stupid and were endangering themselves, they were setting alight his fucking flowers! When Gladio was near him, he put himself in between the fire and his children. He grabbed both their arms gently and scolded them. 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING TO MY FLOWERS!” 

“Burning them.” Gladio shrugged.

“Yeah, we wanted to do a bonfire.” Iris said proudly. 

Clarus blinked. Not only were his children pyro maniacs but they knew exactly what they were doing in doing this to his flowers! Right! He gave them both a hard stare and ordered, gritting his teeth together. 

“Get. Inside. Now!” 

“Okay! Love you daddy.” Iris laughed at her father’s anger and happily skipped away towards the house knowing that their little prank had been a success. Uncle Ardyn was going to be so proud of them. 

“Yeah, we are just going, keep your hair on, old man.” Gladio chuckled at his own joke and followed Iris before Clarus went off on one again. 

The Shield breathed out and proceeded to put the fire out before a neighbour or someone called the fire department. This was exactly what he didn’t need today. A heart attack, his children near an open flame and now all his flowers were dead. Perfect. Fucking brilliant. 

Both Amicitia children walked towards their father’s office as they knew that was where he would have expected them to go. When they got into the room brother and sister started laughing at their work and gave each other a high five for good measure. This prank was brilliant and they knew Clarus would definitely overreact to what had just taken place. They were evil to their dad when they wanted to be. They sat down on the sofa and waited for their scared and enraged dad to join them. 

“He is so pis… annoyed.” Gladio smirked, managing to stop himself from swearing in front of his little sister. 

“Text Ardyn than.” Iris said, leaning over her brother’s shoulder when he got his phone out. 

“You do realise how much trouble we are in when dad finds out.” 

“He loves us! He won’t give us that bigger punishment.” 

“No offence squirt, I have been around longer than you. Believe me, we are in sooo much trouble for this.” 

“Yes, you are!” Clarus spat as he entered the room. Both of his children immediately shut up and sat up straight as Clarus stood tall in front of them. He was more scared than anything else and the fear came out as anger. “You two know fires are dangerous! Why the hell did you do that! And do that to my flowers!” 

“Ardyn told us too.” Gladio said quickly.

“Gladio!” Iris shrieked in horror. They had promised Ardyn they wouldn’t say a thing on the matter. 

“I am not getting told off for something Ardyn asked us to do.” 

“It was your idea he only asked us to prank dad!” 

Clarus’s eye twitched. Of course, this was Fucking Ardyn Leonis! Now he was no longer scared, Gladio and Iris seemed fine. He was very angry. He raised his voice and pointed towards the door. “Enough! Both of you, get to your rooms and you are not to come out until I say otherwise!”

“Yes, sir!” Gladio nodded and walked out quickly.

“Bye daddy!” Iris waved jumping off the sofa and followed her brother out of the room. 

When he knew Gladio and Iris were out of hearing range, Clarus got out his phone faster then he had done in a very long time and called Ardyn straight away. It was one thing pranking him but getting his children to do this was not acceptable. Especially when Gladio and Iris pulled fucking stunts like that! As soon as he heard someone answer the phone he wasted no time in screaming down the phone at His Grace.

“Leonis, I am going to get you back for this!”

 _“Ooo, what did your brood do?”_ Ardyn asked with an insane laugh. 

“They burnt my fucking flowers! They could have been burnt, my children could have been hurt, you insane man!” 

_“Mine was hurt, remember?”_ Ardyn replied voice getting darker. 

That was when both ends turned to silent. They had finally realised how stupid all of this was… Prompto had gotten hurt and Gladio and Iris could have been. This wasn’t worth it anymore. Not when the children had been put at risk. 

“Right. We need to stop these pranks at once.” Clarus stated in a low voice, wanting to get off the phone to apologise to his children for being one of the reasons this entire thing had started. 

_“Truce.”_

“Truce.” 

* * *

“Noctis this isn’t a good idea.” 

Ignis warned ashamed of himself as Noctis had somehow managed to talk him into pranking the King. This was probably treason and Ignis was apart of it. He was going to make his uncle lose his job. He was going to lose his job. But the young Prince didn’t seem to care at all. He looked like he was enjoying this little prank. At least Ignis knew this one was not going to hurt anyone physically or emotionally. 

“We can’t fix my game so I am getting dad back!” Noctis claimed, looking down the hallway waiting for his dad to come around the corner. He walked down here about this time every day, it was all about the waiting now. 

“Your father didn’t know that was going to happen.” Ignis breathed out hoping that Noctis would see sense. 

“Don’t care, let’s face it, this is not a bad prank at all.” 

“Alright....” 

They waited a few more moments until the sound of the tapping of a cane flooded the hallway. Now it was Noctis’s time to strike. 

“Just followed my lead.” Noctis whispered to Ignis before looking under the curtains and calling out loudly. “Come here floss! Floss! Floss!” 

“Floss, come on, it’s dinner time!” Ignis copied his prince’s actions and tried not to look at the King who was now approaching them, probably with confusion plastered on his face. 

“Come here, flossy, flossy. I have treats.”

Regis cocked his head to the side and was bewildered with the sight before him. What in the name of the six were Noctis and Ignis doing? And he knew for certain who, or what, ever Noctis was looking for it couldn’t be an imaginary friend. His son was far too old for that. Because it appeared that his son hadn’t noticed him he cleared his throat before asking. 

“Noctis, Ignis what exactly are you doing?” 

“Looking for Floss.” Noctis said, now looking under a piece of furniture, not looking at his dad. 

“His Highness lost him, Your Majesty.” Ignis said trying to give the King some clarification but it was a lie. This was really going to mess with the poor King’s head. 

“Yep, I can’t find him anywhere.” 

“Oh okay. And who might Floss be?” Regis said narrowing his eyes. He just hoped to whatever God still favoured humanity over themselves it wasn’t what he thought it was. 

Noctis grinned and said exactly what his dad didn’t want to hear. “He’s my cat.” 

“Noctis Lucis Caelum I told you before you are not having a cat in the Citadel.” Regis shook his head visibly annoyed. 

“You broke my game case. So I got a cat.” 

Regis was going to argue back but he knew he couldn’t. He knew Noctis was really upset about that game… so he guessed he deserved this. “Noctis… fine. Just make sure you find him before grandfather does.” 

“Huh? You are letting me keep him?” Noct said nearly in shock. 

Regis had told him since he was little he was not allowed a cat. The Prince didn’t know why but for some reason his dad didn’t like them. But did he really just allow him to keep it? Well, Floss wasn’t real, but really! He was now allowed a cat?! 

“Yes. I am sorry I destroyed your game, the least I can do is allow you to keep a cat.” 

“Thanks, dad.” Noctis squealed hugging his dad tightly to thank him. 

The pair promised to see each other for dinner in an hour’s time and the King and Prince went their separate ways. When the Prince was safely in his quarters with his advisor, a massive smile grew on his face and he shook Ignis with glee “Right Iggy our next move! Let’s go get me a cat!” 

“No.” Ignis said sternly. 

They were not doing this to spite the King and use his guilt against him. Noctis could forget about that right now. 

* * *

_Somnus:_ _Have we decided to stop doing this shit yet, brother?_

_Ardyn:_ _Yes, I have learnt from my mistakes._

 _ Somnus: _ _That’s a first._

_Ardyn:_ _If that is the case brother dear you should be proud of me._

 _ Somnus: _ _Pride has nothing to do with it._

_Come on then. I want it in writing._

_Ardyn:_ _Okay I promise on Prompto, Cor and Cerberus I won’t take part in any more pranks. :)_

_Somnus:_ _Thank you._

_Ardyn:_ _You are very welcome, Usurper._

_I mean, Usurper._

_Usurper._

_AHHH! I mean Usurper!_

_What the hell?!_

_Somnus:_ _………….._

_Fuck off Ardyn_

_ Ardyn: _ _No I am trying to write your name and it keeps changing it to Somnus. I didn’t mean to write that I swear!_

_What is going on?!_

_This isn’t my fault!!!_

_ Somnus: _ _Stop texting me you bastard!!_

 _ Ardyn: _ _Really this isn’t my fault! I am not doing this!_

_Somnus:_ _Who’s fault is it then?! The daemons! Because you are a daemon!!!!_

_Ardyn:_ _It’s mine. Sorry, uncle Som I wanted to give dad a taste of his own medicine, so I changed your name on dad’s autocorrect. Sorry, I just wanted this pranking to stop. Love you. From Prom xx_

 _ Somnus: _ _ARDYN GET TO THE CITADEL NOW!!!_

* * *

“Right! No more! I mean it! No more!” Somnus screamed. 

This probably wasn’t going to work because Regis and Clarus refused to listen to him last time he screamed at them until his face went blue. But hopefully this time Ardyn would have his back. He wasn’t so worried about his brother, he was more concerned about his grandchildren and Lord Amicitia. Somnus didn’t know what he was going to do if this carried on. It was childish, stupid and dangerous, so why couldn’t any of them see that!

“Clarus and I already have agreed not to do any more pranks.” Ardyn said calmly. He understood this had gone too far now… 

Somnus snapped his head in his brother’s direction and continued to shout. “I do not care! I am telling you now no more!” 

“Okay grandfather calm down.” Regis breathed out, rubbing his knee. 

“It’s only a bit of fun.” Noctis yawned resting his head against his dad’s shoulder. All these pranks were making the Prince exhausted. 

“It is not fun! Your dad got hurt! Prom got hurt! Iris and Gladiolus almost got hurt! I am drawing a line under this! No more!” Somnus sneered at his youngest grandson. 

And because Regis did nothing to stop his grandad from telling him off, Noctis rolled his eyes and accepted what had to happen. “Fine.” 

“Yes, your Former Majesty.” Clarus nodded in agreement.

“Yes grandfather.” Regis also agreed, looking towards his son who had now fallen asleep against his shoulder. Awww his son was so cute. 

“Thank you. Now, Ardyn.” 

Ardyn stretched and said. “Yes, brother. All of this is really stupid and getting way out of hand.” 

Suddenly all the lights turned off. Metal sheets fell over the windows. Within seconds the room lit up again but this time with UV light. Ardyn immediately started to hiss and put a pink wall around him so the painful light wouldn’t touch his skin and attack his scourge infested body. To make sure he didn’t go rabid, he kept as far away from Noctis, who was still asleep, so he didn’t attack him. The three remaining adults looked at each other and gulped. This was the daemon defence mechanism that had been put in place under Regis’s grandfather in case any daemon got into the Citadel and started killing and turning people into one. What the fuck had happened! No daemon could get through the wall! Which meant Ardyn or Prompto must have summoned one in here. But Prompto was at home, so it must have been Ardyn! 

“SHIT! ARDYN WHAT DID YOU DO!” Regis shouted in horror, holding on to Noctis, who still hadn’t woken up. But in his sleep, he clung on to his father and snored. 

“This isn’t me!” Ardyn shouted back taking in deep breaths. The lights still stung but it was bearable. He sniffed the air and… that was odd. He couldn’t smell anything. He looked at his brother through the magical wall and said sternly. “There aren’t any daemons in the Citadel.” 

“Why the fuck have the lights gone off then!”

During the little fights between the Kings and His Grace, Clarus, knowing he couldn’t leave either Regis or Noctis until it was safe, called Drautos to see what the heck was going on. 

“Drautos what’s going on?” 

_“The glaives. Don’t worry I am sorting it._ ” 

“Okay thank you.” 

Clarus put down the phone, managed somehow to talk over all three of the royals that were awake and told them the situation. The glaives thought it would be funny to sound the alarm and put everyone into a mass panic. That prank was not funny. It could have caused mass panic throughout Insomnia, not just the Citadel. Maybe this prank would show Regis and Clarus that they finally needed to grow the fuck up and be an example to everyone else. It took about 10 minutes before the lights turned off and the metal sheets disappeared from the windows and because he nearly burnt to another death, Ardyn backed Somnus in everything he was saying. Because the brothers were working together, Regis had no choice but to comply and finally agree that enough was enough. 

“Okay…. This ends now.” Regis said, preparing to go and find Drautos so they could have a serious word with the glaives. Or rather Nyx. It was probably Ulric who did this. But first, he had to wake Noctis up. That was going to be a challenge. 

But now that everything was cleared up Ardyn could not resist the temptation to throw his head back with laughter. “You have to admit it, this is all a little funny though.” 

“Really?” 

Ardyn’s face lit up at his husband’s very angry voice and turned towards the door. Ardyn let his happiness be known to everyone else by gleefully yelling Cor’s name and going to give him a hug. But the Marshal did not want a hug. He was literally being told by Drautos everything that had happened when the lights turned on. The Marshal was not happy. Not happy at all. 

* * *

“This isn’t funny. It is stupid and ridiculous!” 

Cor shouted at Ardyn when they got home. He was so scared at the thought of his son and husband being in a car crash and he wasn’t there when they needed him. So why didn’t Ardyn fucking stop with the pranks than! At least they were okay and no one got hurt but this was unbelievably stupid of all involved. Cor wasn’t even sure if he should go on missions now if this type of thing was going to happen every time he went away. 

“Darling I know and we aren’t doing it anymore,” Ardyn said gently, trying to calm Cor down so he could at least have a hug and maybe a quick kiss. But Cor didn’t want any of that he was too cross. 

“Then why did they continue after your crash! Prom was in that!” 

“Dad, I am fine, honest.” Prom said not wanting them to fight.

“What if you were hurt!? What if you both were! This is serious.” 

“I know. I know. Please just… stop shouting. It has ended now. We all understand what pricks we have been.” Ardyn said calmly. At the moment Cor needed rest. He had just got back from Niflheim and he usually got a migraine the day after he got back from a mission. So this extra stress was not going to help his husband at all. 

“What you have been, you mean.” Prom said quickly. He only took part so his uncle would put a stop to it. He had nothing to do with it really. 

“Thank you Prompto.” 

Cor grunted deeply really not caring about any of this. “I don’t care. No more. Do you understand me? I don’t want a single prank in this house, in the Citadel. Anywhere!” 

“Yes, darling. I promise no more.” 

“Thank you, Ardyn.” 

Knock, knock.

“For fuck sake!” Cor looked up at the ceiling. He was done with today. He just wanted to go to bed, hug his dog, son and husband and sleep. That was it. Nothing else. But no he had to deal with and whoever was at the fucking door. Cor told Ardyn and Prom he’d answer it and ran downstairs. Whoever this person was better have a good reason for being here. Cor opened the door to reveal a woman who looked like she was in her 20s standing at the door. She had brown curly hair and light blue eyes. Cor had no idea who it was, but he didn’t want to sound rude so he pushed his frustration down and smiled politely at her. “Hello, how can I help you?” 

“Hello, you are Marshal Leonis, right?” The woman asked looking very nervous. 

“Yes, I am. I am sorry, I do not mean to be rude, but I am in the middle of something at the moment. Is this important?” 

The woman looked down at the ground and nodded lightly. “Yes, it is. My name is Leona Perfidus. I am Elora Perfidus’s, daughter. She used to be a member of the guard around 20 years ago. Do you remember her?” 

Cor rubbed his face, he did not have time to be playing this game. “Vaguely. Sorry, what is this about?” 

“You slept with her when you were 17. I am your daughter.”


	5. Prank or Truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I felt this needed two more chapters... just more content for you I guess XD
> 
> Anyway, here you are please enjoy :)

The was an eerie silence for about 2 seconds. 

The pair looked at each other, one with confusion and the other with anxiety…. Both were completely taken by back what the latter had just said. That was until Cor started to laugh and clapped his hands together very slowly. “Good one. Really funny prank. You almost had me there. Let me guess, Lord Amicitia put you up to this? Tell him from me I am laughing my head off.” 

“This isn’t a joke.” Leona stuttered shaking her head trying her hardest to make her voice sound as serious as she possibly could given the shock of the situation. “Elora Perfidus, my mum, told me that you are my biological father.” 

“What’s your name again?” Cor asked, very sceptical of what this woman was telling him. 

“Leona.” 

Cor lent on the door frame and frown. Right… he let out a deep breath and tried to explain to her what must of happened because there was no way in hell that any of this was true. This was very clearly a prank. It had to be a prank and a very cruel one at that for both parties. “Right, Leona, I am really sorry. But your mum has lied to you because I am very gay. I haven’t had sex with a woman in…” 

“21 years. In the August before your 18th birthday. How would I possibly know that if what I am telling you is a lie?” Leona asked cutting Cor off. 

The silence came back again and this time a sharp cold shiver ran up the Marshal spine. Cor couldn’t say anything. All he could do was look at her as she stood on his doorstep. She looked as if she regretted what she had announced to him and right now Cor was in this weird middle ground of anger, shock, denial and humour. Up until now, he was more than convinced that this was a prank. A cold prank put on him for being one of the people who had finally put an end to these childish games, but how in the fuck did she know that?! Cor had never seen this woman before and the last time he saw Elora was when they slept together during his… slut phase, that was what Clarus called it. Cor shook his head as fear started to rise up in his stomach. No. She was lying. She had to be lying right? Cor looked at her again and she had blue eyes. Piercing blue eyes… they looked a little bit like his own. Cor stood up straight and gulped hard…. No, no, no, no, no…. 

“FUCK!” 

Cor said choking on air as he suddenly remembered he hadn’t used any form of protection throughout that entire chapter of his life. Why the fuck didn’t he listen to Clarus and Wesk?! SHIT! Fuck! Oh, Gods….

“I am really sorry. Look, I don’t want anything from you, I just wanted you to know… and I did want to meet you.” Leona said softly as she saw panic fill his eyes. She didn’t want this to happen. But what did she expect? When you turn up out of the blue after 20 years, what other reaction was the Marshal suppose to have? 

Footsteps made there way down the stairs as Ardyn called out to his husband. Ardyn was a little concerned with how long it was taking Cor to get rid of whoever was at the door. That wasn’t like Cor at all, especially not when he was reminding Ardyn that he to be sensible and safe. 

“Darling! Have you given up on us and decided the person at the door is far more interesting!” Ardyn laughed peering over Cor’s shoulder, the Marshal hadn’t moved since he decided what Leona had said had some validity to it, and Ardyn raised an eyebrow at the stranger. “Oh, hello, who might you be?” 

“Hello, Your Grace. My name is Leona. I’ve come to have a word with the Marshal.” Leona said with sorrow. She looked at Cor and by the look that he was giving her, she knew it was a big mistake coming. 

“Goodness. Cor, my dear what have you done this time?” Ardyn laughed, not sensing how stressed and panic Cor was until he bore his teeth at the woman. 

“You’re lying to me.” 

“I am not. She even named me after you.” 

“What? What’s going on?” Ardyn asked scratching his head. Before he got an answer, Cor nearly fell backwards into the house. That woke Ardyn up and quickly caught Cor before he hurt himself. “Woah! Sweetheart, it’s okay I’ve got you. Prom! Get dad some water!!! Can you stand up?” 

“Yeah. Stop fussing.” Cor muttered, holding his head. It was the pure shock that had made him do that. This couldn’t be happening? No. This had to be a lie. It had to be. Surely if this was true, Elora would have approached him sooner. This had to be a joke! It had to be!

Ardyn begged to differ. “You need to come inside and sit down. I am sorry, Miss Leona, but would you mind leaving and coming back to finish your talk with my husband later?” 

“No! She can’t. You need to explain this to me, right now!” Cor said, unable to remove the frustration from his voice. 

Leona backed up slightly and shrugged in a sympathetic way. “I am sorry. I only know what my mum told me.” 

“Tell me what that is then!” Cor snapped. 

“Okay, My Marshal. Calm down.” 

“No! I am confused and I want to know what’s going on!” 

“Can we at least do this inside please, so you don’t nearly faint again?” 

Ardyn said calmly pulling Cor into the house and gestured for this Leona person to join them. Cor went into the living room without question and Ardyn pointed in the direction that she had to follow. Ardyn waited for Prom to hand him the bottle of water that was intended for Cor before telling Prompto to wait for them upstairs. Whatever this was, it was clear to Ardyn that this was not something Cor wanted their son to hear. To make sure Prom wasn’t lonely and sit on the stairs and hear what they were saying like the cheeky sunbeam his child was, Ardyn ordered Cerbie to keep them both in Prom’s room until Ardyn came upstairs. Thankfully Prom did what he was told without question and that was when Ardyn went to join his husband and this stranger. The living room was dead silent. Cor was not looking at their guest. He was pacing up and down the room. Whereas… Leona was sitting calmly but she looked as if she was about to burst into tears. What the hell? 

Ardyn cleared his throat and shut the door behind him. “Right, does anyone want to tell me what is going on?” 

“I don’t really know where to begin.” Leona gulped, picking at her nails. 

“Let’s start with the fact you are claiming to be my daughter.” Cor said abruptly, really not caring for the feelings of his husband just this second. He wanted and needed answers. Because this couldn’t be true.... 

“What?!” Ardyn asked in a half-laugh. This was… this was a joke, wasn’t it? Right? 

“I am only telling you what my mum told me. She only told me a few months ago.” Leona said getting more upset as this conversation dragged on she really wanted to give The Marshal the answers he wanted. 

“Than why didn’t she tell me?” Cor demanded, trying to find any hole he could in her claim. 

“I don’t know. I am sorry. She has never actively spoken about who my dad was. And whenever I asked her, she told me that he was a part of the Crownsguard and that he still is, but I should stop asking her questions about it. I am just as confused as you are. But she named me after you because she couldn’t give me your surname.” 

“You expect me to take your word for it?” Cor said also getting more emotional as the seconds went by. 

Leona quickly got a letter from out of her bag and held it out to Cor for him to take. “No, I don’t. But here. It’s a letter from her. I haven’t opened it or anything, it’s sealed. She wanted me to give it to you.” 

“Alright.” Ardyn said quickly interrupting whatever the hell was happening in front of him. “Can we all just back up a second and start from the very beginning because I am very confused.”

* * *

_ Dear Marshal Cor Leonis, _

_ Bet you thought you wouldn’t hear from me again? I am sorry we have to do this over a letter, but considering you got married to the Adagium I’d rather keep my distance. I know you have many questions and whatnot, but we need to get one thing straight. Leona is your daughter. I know this is true because you are the only one that matches up with the dates so unless the doctors got the dates wrong, you are definitely her father.  _

_ I know this is a shock it was a shock to me too. The reason why I didn’t tell you at the time was because you came out as gay and your crush on His Grace was so obvious I didn’t want to ruin that chance for you. I had to think of myself and the baby. You were, and you still are from what I can tell from the media, a very reckless and dangerous man. Because of that, I left the guard and I didn’t want you to be a part of her life. I wanted to keep her safe and out of harm’s way. It was better for everyone that you didn’t know. I will admit, another reason why I said nothing was because I was scared that either you or your husband would hurt her and do some real damage to her and I couldn’t let that happen to my daughter.  _

_ You understand that right?  _

_ You have a son. You understand the lengths that us parents go to, to protect our children. That was why I said nothing. By keeping silent I was protecting her from your dangerous lifestyle and from anyone that would want to hurt you or your husband. His Grace is another reason why I didn’t say a word. He is the Adagium, he is a daemon! No offence but is your relationship even legal? He’s not human, is that bestiality or something? It is your own private affair so I don’t care, but everyone knows that His Grace is dangerous. He is the most dangerous being that has ever lived and I didn’t and I still don’t want that man anywhere near Leona. But she is 20 years old now and she is old enough to look after herself, so I told her the truth. I told her there was no love between us. That it was a one night stand but I do not regret having her and I never will.  _

_ She didn’t believe me to start off with like I predict you won’t.  _

_ Do you want to know why she didn’t believe me? Because she thinks that the legendary ‘Cor the Immortal’ is an honourable man and would have never of left any woman to look after a child by themselves. I completely agree with her. Cor, you may be dangerous but you are a decent man. And you not being a part of her life is my fault for not telling you. But I am not sorry because it kept her safe. I won’t lie either, she was angry. Very angry, not only that I kept this from her, but that I have ruined her chance to be a part of a wider family. I suppose you are cross at me too for preventing you from seeing her. Well, that is if you believe a single word I say. You may not but I am not lying. Why would I?  _

_ She wants to meet you.  _

_ Just when you do, don’t turn her away. She just wants to meet her dad and understand you.  _

_ Enough of me. If you want more answers, ask Leona for my number and we can talk more.  _

_ From Elora Predifus.  _

After reading the letter, Cor handed it to Ardyn and covered his face with so much guilt and regret filling him up. It was beginning to make sense… Everything that was said, other than the parts of the dates because she could be lying about that, made complete sense. Cor was dangerous and stupid and reckless. Heck, the only reason he and Ardyn had Prompto was because Cor nicked him from a lab! He wanted to be sick. He wanted to scream. He felt… Cor had no idea how to feel or what to say. Even if Elora was lying that poor girl genuinely believed that he was her father. That made Cor more upset. Because he didn’t want to be anything like his own father, and if this was true, even if it wasn’t his fault he had turned out like him by not being there for her. Cor looked up at the ceiling and all that came out of his mouth was regret and guilt. 

“Use a fucking condom! That is the first thing they teach you in sex education and I didn’t bloody listen!” 

“Darling you were 17 years old.” Ardyn said softly, sitting next to him on their bed after reading through the letter. 

“Yes! A 17-year-old who was a fucking member of the King’s personal guard! Who was fucking responsible if the King died or not and I wasn’t even smart enough to use protection! I never learn! First, you impregnate me with a fucking daemon and now this! I am such a stupid twat! Why wasn’t I fucking sensible! Why do I have to be so reckless and impulsive all the time!!!!!” Cor growled kicking the bedside cabinet with all his might. He wanted to cry now. Cor had no idea how to handle news like this. 

Ardyn ran his fingers through Cor’s hair to try and relax his husband and as he spoke, he tried to reason with Cor. “Because that is just you, I am afraid. Now, I understand you are upset but how do you think that girl downstairs is going to feel if you really are her biological father and you are shouting that? You need to calm down.” 

Cor snapped his head to the side and looked at Ardyn as if he had grown three heads. “Why are you so calm about this?” 

Ardyn wasn’t really but to him, he didn’t have any other choice but to be calm right now. “Because if you are this girl’s father, our son’s entire world is going to collapse around him. One of us has to be calm and be there for him, and considering this will affect you more than me, I have to be the one to remain calm for Prompto.” 

That crushed Cor’s heart. He hadn’t even thought of Prom yet. This was going to really upset their baby. This wasn’t fair on their son. This wasn’t fair on Ardyn. This wasn’t fair on Leona. This was so messed up and Cor had no idea how to sort this out or make this better. 

“Shit Prom! I don’t want this to happen Ardyn. I never asked for this.” Cor could feel himself begin to panic again. 

Ardyn pulled him in for a hug and tried his best to soothe Cor. “I know you didn’t. What we will do, we will go to the Citadel, get a DNA test done and we will find out the truth. Just try to remain calm for now. Whatever happens, I promise we will sort this.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” Cor nodded, hugging Ardyn back. Cor was just so grateful the daemons weren’t trying to fuck with his husband’s head at the moment. 

“It’s alright, my darling.” Ardyn promised. 

They should really get a move on now though. As soon as Cor read the letter and started panicking, Ardyn told him to go upstairs and wait for him. He politely asked Leona to stay in their front room and asked her not to say a word about this to Prom, who he had to call downstairs to sit with her until he had sorted Cor out. Leona agreed and Ardyn was already beginning to like her. She seemed trustworthy enough and like Cor, he too thought that this woman did truly believe that Cor was her father. Whatever way this turned out, someone’s heart was going to get broken. Be that Prom’s or Leona’s. 

Cor closed his eyes tight and held Ardyn a little closer to him. “If this is a fucking prank done by Clarus and Regis I am going to kill them.” 

“I will do nothing to stop you.” Ardyn said with no hint of remorse in his voice. He may even join in at this turned out to be a sick joke.

* * *

Ardyn took them to the Citadel and when Cor and Leona were getting the tests done, he sat with both Prompto and Somnus and told them what was going on. Ardyn wanted his brother there, in case Prom needed someone to talk too who wasn’t his parents. Children needed that sometimes. He was so grateful that his brother kept his mouth shut the entire time and allowed Ardyn to explain the situation. Prompto… he was just still. He didn’t say anything and he still didn’t until Ardyn left because someone had to tell Regis and Clarus what was happening and to make sure that this wasn’t a prank done by them. 

“You okay?” Somnus asked as he rubbed his nephew’s back. 

“I don’t understand what is happening,” Prom said quietly. He felt almost hollow. 

“Nor do I.” Somnus admitted.

“Is this a prank? Please make it be a prank, uncle Som. I won’t be mad. Honest.” Prom asked, changing his demeanour quickly from nothing to panic and on the verge of tears. 

“Come here.” Somnus said quickly holding on to Prompto so he could cry if he needed too. Somnus was going to be so fucking angry if this was a prank. Prompto was crying now. “I am afraid none of us have anything to do with this, buddy. Whatever is going on, may it be a misunderstanding or not, I am afraid to say that this is real.” 

“I don’t want to lose my dad!” Prom whimpered, tears rushing from his face as he buried his face in his uncle’s chest. 

Cor was his dad! He was his daddy! No one else’s. What if this woman turned out to be his real daughter, would Cor want him then? Prom didn’t think so. Who would want him? He was a daemon cloned Niff and he wasn’t worthy to carry Cor’s and Ardyn’s name! He wasn’t worthy to be their child and if she was Cor’s, they could replace him! Prompto didn’t want that! Prom just wanted his daddy to come and hug him and make everything better. Tell him everything was okay and he loved him more than this person! Could this please just be a prank, he thought. Please?! 

“You won’t lose him. Cor is still your dad.” Somnus said trying to calm his nephew down. 

“Not if he has a daughter I won’t be!” 

“Yes, you will be. Ardyn!” Somnus shouted hearing his brother’s heavy footsteps coming towards the door. He then quickly looked down at Prom. “It’s okay you will always be his son.” 

“No, I won’t!” 

Upon hearing his name, Ardyn warped over to where his precious son was crying and took over from Somnus on the hugging and comforting front. Unfortunately, Regis and Clarus had nothing to do with this and now it was all down to this daunting DNA test. Seeing Prom like this… Ardyn bloody hoped it was negative. 

“Sunbeam! it’s alright darling.” Ardyn said softly cradling his baby. 

“No, it isn’t.” Prom shook his head sobbing his heart out. 

“My darling boy, no matter what happens, you are our son. This Leona person, whoever she may be, will not change that.” 

“It won’t be the same though will it?!” 

Prom cried loudly knowing how these things went. If this was true Leona would want to spend time with Cor. Because his dad probably felt guilty for not being a part of her life he would want to give it to her. That meant what little time they had together would be cut and Prom would hardly see his dad. Cor promised him when they told him he was that monster’s clone that nothing would ever change him from being Cor’s son. This would. Prompto didn’t want that. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t fair! 

Ardyn kissed his son’s head and nodded. “No. You’re right. It won’t be. But no matter what happens I am here for you.”

“Thank you dada.” 


	6. The Results Are In...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I had such bad writer's block for this fic :(
> 
> Please forgive me!! Anyway, this is nearly 5000 words long so I hope it has made up for the fics absence. 
> 
> Please enjoy :)

“If this is a joke I won’t even be cross.” 

“Cor, I am really sorry. I wish I was pranking you.” Clarus admitted. 

“Great.” Cor sighed heavily rubbing his eyes as a wave of helplessness overcame him. 

The King and Shield gave each other a glance of hopelessness as they had no idea what to say to their little brother. It was a shit situation to find themselves in and a very poorly timed one at that… if both Regis and Clarus were honest, they were surprised that this hadn’t happened sooner. Cor had never been one for being careful but this was on a whole nother level of recklessness. However, they both knew giving him a lecture would do the man no good. Cor needed to talk and get his emotions out and he needed to prepare himself and not try to solve this on his own like he tended to do. Cor needed to know that they were there for him and try to make this situation seem lighter than it was. 

Regis placed a comforting hand on Cor’s shoulder and did what he could to settle the nerves and anxiety building up in Cor’s chest. “My dear, don’t worry. In a few hours, we will discover the truth. Whatever that may be.” 

“I am just… so worried about Prom. We told him about how he was born a couple of weeks ago and this...” Cor said trailing off. His poor, poor, son. Cor had no idea what the fuck was going on through Prom’s mind right now. He was just so grateful that Ardyn was with him… well, Ardyn should be with him. Cor hoped that his husband was with their son anyway.

“Oh…” 

“Yeah. Now with this, I don’t want him to think that I could ever replace him.” 

“You need to talk to him.” Clarus said, standing a little away from the pair, praying he could give Cor’s his wish. 

“What if he cries? I don’t want to see him cry.” Cor groaned wanting all of this to be a dream. A fucked up dream but at least no one would be hurting. Why the fuck didn’t he just wear protection?! He wouldn’t be in this mess if he had. “I really fucked up this time.” 

“You might not have.” 

“Regis, you aren’t helping.” 

Clarus shook his head at the King to tell him to keep quiet for a second. Regis wasn’t the best person to be giving advice right now, heck he only had Noctis when he did because the King and Queen were being reckless, they didn’t want a child until Regis turned 33. 

“But whatever happens someone is going to get hurt.” Cor said, feeling less and less in control of himself and his emotions. The Marshal really did not like not having control of himself. Gods he wished Ardyn was comforting him but Prom was more important right now. 

“You can’t protect everyone, you know that Cor. Right now, with the child you 100% know you have, you need to focus on him.”

“I know you’re right. I just feel so fucking guilty.” 

“Good, it might teach you to stop being reckless.” 

“Like that is ever going to happen Clarus.” Regis laughed to try and light the mood. 

The King’s laughter was soon put to a halt as his best friends just glared at him giving him the most incredulously look ever. Yeah… Regis just looked away from their stares and mouthed a little ‘sorry’ before backing away from Cor slightly. The next thing Cor wanted to do was cry. Purely out of frustration mind you. Usually, he would just explode and scream out his emotions but it didn’t feel right in this situation. And if Cor was going to cry in front of anyone it would have to be in front of the two people who had always looked out for him so Cor wouldn’t feel so weak. 

“Dad…” 

Prom’s saddened little voice shook the Marshal from his guilt-ridden and near tearful trance. He stood up and saw Prompto in the doorway, eyes red and puffy. Oh no… this was not fair. 

“Hey, mate. Are you okay?” Cor said carefully walking over to his son. 

Prom gulped and let go a single tear as Cor took a hold of his arms. “...Can you still be my dad?” 

“Prom… I am your dad no matter what.” Cor breathed out feeling his heart shatter into a million pieces at his son’s words. 

“Just don’t forget about me.” 

“Come here. I won’t. You are my number one and you always will be. I love you.” Cor said pulling his son in for a hug. This time Cor allowed a tear to fall. How could… how could Prom ever think he could forget about him? Prompto was THE most important thing in his life. Cor would quit his job if it meant he could fully look after Prompto in a second. He would fucking undertake the trial of Gilgamesh again if it meant Prompto knew how much he loved and cared for him. This kid was his everything, never would he allow his precious sunbeam to think anything different. 

Prom rested his head in his dad’s chest and through sharp breaths of air he nodded his head. “.... okay… I trust you.”

* * *

Nyx and Gladio were confused when Clarus literally pull them off their posts and told them to babysit this woman, no questions asked. Of course, Gladio tried to get a small amount of detail out of his dad and Clarus just ignored him. The young Shield found it a little rude but Nyx was just confused why he had been put on this task. Not like he minded babysitting this woman, Leona Prefidus, she was kind of cute. Libertus was going to be so jealous when he told him about this later. However, Gladio found her cute as well and a silent war for her attention started. Of course, she wasn’t blind to what they were trying to do. She just rolled her eyes and allowed the pair to make complete arses of themselves as they told her stories and battles they had been in. She didn’t believe half of what they had said. 

“Really?” Leona rolled her blue eyes, not impressed by the tales the boys were spinning at her. 

“Yeah. Totally.” Nyx said with confidence. 

“He makes half the stuff up.” Gladio muttered plainly. The glaives were generally obnoxious lairs. 

“I do not!” Nyx spat glaring at the 16-year-old to tell him to keep quiet. 

“Really, ‘Hero?’” Gladio teased, using his nickname to mock him. 

“Says you. He is only 16, you know?” 

“Piss off!” 

Leona could not help but smile. It was actually pretty funny watching the two before her tear into each other with words. She just wished that the Marshal would talk to her. Even if it was more that he didn’t believe her but no. She got nothing. His Grace was the one to approach her and talk her through why they needed to do this DNA test and that he was sorry that it was happening to everyone. So why couldn’t the Marshal do the same? Maybe she shouldn’t have even bothered coming here in the first place. He clearly didn’t want to know… 

Instead of getting upset, she put on a laugh and addressed her apparent babysitters. “You two should be a double act.” 

Nyx grinned. He liked that idea. He flung an arm around the mini Amicitia and sang with glee. “Yeah! That would be awesome! We could be the Hero and the Baby Shield.” 

“Or I could punch you in the face.” Gladio grumbled, removing Nyx’s arm from his being. Ulric was fucking weird sometimes. No wonder he got into trouble constantly. 

“Whatever.” 

Gladio shook his head and decided that he no longer liked being kept in the dark. It wasn’t fair that his dad just dumped this role on him and gave him no reason why. Gladio was still a Shield. Given it was to Noctis, who probably wasn’t even awake to know that any of this was going on, but he still had rights to know, you know in case Noctis asked. Didn’t he? Well, if no one was going to tell him, Gladio was going to find out himself. 

He rubbed the back of his neck and started to calmly interrogate their guest. “So… Leona? Why are we looking after you again? Lord Amicitia was dead set on making sure someone is with you at all times.” 

“If you don’t know I better not say.” Leona smiled trying to brush it off. She didn’t want to cause any more hassle than she already had done. 

“Ah I see! Is it top secret royal stuff?!” Nyx shouted, announcing his conclusion to the room. Being in the Citadel, what else could it be. 

“Not really...” Leona started but she stopped herself. Technically it was, and because she considered herself royalist, she to keep quiet again. She had always been a private person, so it was quite easy for her to not talk about things. She didn’t really want to make the man who was quite possibly her dad any madder at her. “Whatever happens you’ll find out in a few hours.” 

Nyx was so close. Unlike, Gladio who thought he had a right to know, Nyx needed to know in case he got in trouble. He spoke urgently and tried to get his point across.

“Listen I need to know…” 

“ULRIC!” 

“In case he happens to come along!” Nyx quickly spun around and bowed to the Captain of the Kingsglaive, hoping the man would not put him on gate duty again for slacking off, like he had done three times this week. But this time Nyx had an excuse, he just hoped Drautos was going to listen to him. When Drautos was at a sensible distance for Nyx to talk normally, he stood to attention. “Yes, Captain.” 

“Why aren’t you in the training hall?!” Drautos growled sounding very fed up. 

“Lord Amicitia asked me to look after Leona here sir. You can ask him yourself.” 

Drautos narrowed his eyes at the randomer who happened to be in the Citadel. He was about to call bullshit on Nyx’s claims but he noticed that Gladiolus was here. Drautos knew for certain the Prince’s Shield would never let a glaive make a claim like that if it wasn’t true. That fact only angered Drautos more. He held the bridge of his nose and muttered something that sounded like he was summoning a daemon under his breath. He was done for the day. 

“Ulric, how do you always find a way to get out of training?” 

“One of kind, me.” Nyx winked with a smirk. 

Drautos was ready to wipe that smile off his glaive’s smug face and in a harsh and authoritative tone he ordered. “Stop showing off, if she is Lord Amicitia’s guest, straighten up and stop acting like a fool. Follow young Gladiolus example.” 

“... Yes, sir…” 

“Ummm…” 

With that Drautos left and he was furious yet again he was kept in the fucking dark about something, more furious then Gladio ever could be. Drautos didn’t put himself through endless hours of serving and listening to the people he loathed to get no information. Right. He was going to end training for the day and just obliterate the training area on his own. He needed to get his anger out before he killed someone and if Nyx wasn’t lucky, it was going to be fucking him. 

When Gladio knew the coast was clear he tapped Nyx on the shoulder, which was covered in sweat. Gladio didn’t blame him, he was anxious on Nyx’s behalf. “Trouble?” 

“I am always in trouble, nothing new there.” Nyx said trying to act cool. But he was far from being calm. Drautos looked pissed...

“See, double act.” Leona laughed. 

Wow! Considering this was the main residence of the royal family… The Citadel was kind of all over the place.

* * *

Panic over. 

Ardyn had lost Prompto a little over 20 minutes ago. His son screamed at him telling both Ardyn and Somnus he wanted to be left alone and ran for it. Ardyn would have followed him immediately if he wasn’t so stunned from being shouted at his sunbeam. Thankfully, Regis had the sense to call Ardyn and tell him that Prompto was safe and sound and was currently hugging Cor. The main thing was Ardyn could stop searching and his husband and son were okay. Semi okay. Okayish. Okay, all of this was a complete mess and Ardyn could do nothing to make this better for another 2 and a bit hours. And His Former Majesty Somnus Lucis Caelum was not helping. 

“Brother tell me, how do you feel about becoming a stepdad?” 

Ardyn snapped. He got out a dagger and rammed it through Somnus’s chest directly were his heart was. Somnus deserved it and Ardyn didn’t give a fuck right now. To make sure he didn’t get told off, Ardyn removed the dagger and waited for Somnus to wake up. Within a couple of minutes, Somnus inhaled sharply and coughed while glaring at Ardyn with hatred. 

“You bastard!” 

“This isn’t funny Somnus!” Ardyn warned. He could do a hell of a lot worse and he was well aware Somnus didn’t need reminding of that. 

Somnus stood up, rubbing down his front to see if he could get some of the blood out of it. “I wasn’t trying to make it funny. Ardyn, I am just telling you, you need to be prepared for whatever comes.” 

“Yes, and my priority is my sunbeam. No one else.” Ardyn replied in a dark tone. There was no point hiding how angry he was at this situation unless he was around Prompto. Prom needed all the love and support he could get at the moment. 

“You’re angry.” 

“Yes. Yes, I am.” 

“Don’t be angry at her. It’s not her fault that this has happened.” Somnus said, trying his hardest not to push Ardyn’s buttons further, they didn’t need Ardyn going feral on them now. 

“I am not angry at her. It’s her mother who I am angry at.” 

“Not going to blame Cor?” 

“I will if he is her father.” 

Ardyn wasn’t exactly mad at Cor. He was fuming that this girls mother had waited 20 years to inform her of her true lineage. Yes, Cor and Ardyn may have left the nature of Prom’s birth until he was 13 but his birth was drastically different to any other birth on Eos. Ardyn thought that this Elora person would have the decency to inform her child, that she claimed she loves so much, at a younger age so Leona would have time to process it. Or you know, inform Cor that he had a daughter sooner! This woman better pray that she and Ardyn never crossed paths. Because there was a lot he could say and a lot he could do in the space of five minutes that would destroy her from the inside out. Okay, maybe giving into those thoughts wasn’t the best idea now… but he couldn’t help it. His son was upset and in turn, it meant Ardyn was upset too. 

Somnus nodded his head slowly. “Yes. Cor was, is, an idiot.” 

“I will not disagree with you there.”

* * *

Sending the glaives away and destroying everything did nothing to stop the Captain’s surging anger. He’d be going back to Niflheim soon and then he would have to deal with more mindless self-absorbed people. Oh, he couldn’t wait until Regis was dead and killing that man today was out of the question. Clarus fucking Amicitia was probably hovering over the bastard like a bad smell and that was the person who Drautos needed to bloody speak to! The current Lord Shield appeared to be the only one outside of the royal family who seemed to know what was going on and took one of his glaives without his permission. He had the fucking guard to pick from why did he pick one of his best glaives to babysit someone who had little to no importance! Or… maybe she did? That just begged the question, who was she and what was she doing here? But if Clarus knew what was going on and it had something to do with the family, that meant some one else knew and this person Drautos could tolerate. He better go and pay Leonis a visit than. When he found Cor, both he and his son were leaving the King’s office. The stolen clone looked upset and the Marshal looked like he was about to kill someone. So he did know. 

“Marshal. Question, why has Lord Amicitia taken one of my glaives, to use to look after a complete stranger?” Drautos asked, getting Cor’s attention before the pair got out of hearing range. 

“None of your business.” Prompto snapped, wanting this nightmare over already. 

“Prompto! Don’t be rude. Go and see your dad now!” Cor blinked, shocked by his son’s sudden rudeness. He understood that his son was upset but there was no need to be rude. Prom quickly took off not even bothering to apologise leaving the pair in the corridor. “Sorry about Prom, Drautos. And for Clarus, you can have your glaive back.” 

“Good. What’s going on?” 

“A lot. But take Ulric if you want. I need a word with our guest anyway.” 

Cor said with a sigh. He was dreading this and this was why Prompto was being so snappy and biting. He didn’t want Cor speaking to her. It was out of fear, Cor knew that, but Prom shouldn’t be scared. He could never replace him. 

“Who exactly is she and why is she getting my glaives and Lord Amicitia’s attention,” Drautos demanded to know. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for a full-on chit chat. If the Marshal didn’t want to tell him, yes Drautos would be pissed, but he would just ask Clarus when he got the chance. 

Cor shrugged. There was no point keeping this a secret if it turned out to be true. “.... you are going to find out if it’s true anyway. Apparently, she is my daughter.” 

That was not something Drautos had expected to hear. It did explain why Clarus picked Nyx of all people to watch her and Gladio… wait! This was a load of crap, wasn’t it? That girl, given Drautos, wasn’t really paying much attention, had blue eyes and brown hair. So did a chunk of the Lucian population. There was no way, not in a hundred years Cor the Immortal would be that stupid enough to put himself in a situation like this. And surely wouldn’t the mother want her child to have the protection or at least the glory of the claim that she had birthed a child of Marshal Leonis?! This wasn’t adding up in his head. This had to be a fake, no matter how disturbed the Marshal looked, this wasn’t real. 

“She doesn’t look like you.” Drautos said, not really caring if what he said affected the man in front of him. 

“I don’t actually know if it is true. Her mother says I am, she says I am. It is looking that way. Fucking one night stands, hey?” 

“Are you trying to tell me you have never seen this girl before in your life and the mother has only just made contact?” 

“Yeah.” 

Drautos would have laughed if it didn’t lead to a fist to the face. This was clearly a simple hoax. Drautos rolled his eyes and put forward his theory. “To me, it just looks like someone is fishing for cash.” 

“What?” Cor asked with a hint of surprise in his voice. That was what Cor thought at first, but there was a letter and… 

“I mean, you are the Marshal of the Crownsguard. You are married to His Grace, a member of the royal family. You’re rich and you had a one night stand with a woman who can’t explain to her own child who her father is. And what have they provided a piece of evidence that proves it all but won’t talk to you directly? You are the perfect money-grabbing material. That is what is going on here.”

Elora hadn’t been in contact with him. When Cor got the number off Leona’s phone to call her, all his calls got declined. All of them. All Cor had was a letter and a scared girl at his doorstep looking for a dad… And Elora knew that would pull on his heartstrings. That son of a bitch! 

“Shit! Why didn’t I think of that? Thank you Drautos I have to go. And take your Glaive back!” Cor said running down the hallway, knowing he had to find Leona and actually speak to her. There was still a chance that she could be his… but now there was doubt in Cor’s mind. To him at least, there was now a flaw in Leona’s mother’s claim. They would find out the truth soon enough. 

“I will.” Drautos called back, letting his eyes linger on the Marshal’s backside a little longer than what was deemed appropriate between co-workers. 

* * *

“I believe what you’re saying. But Leona… I don’t believe your mum. And I have tried to call her and she won’t pick up her phone.” Cor explained. 

It was just the two of them in the room now. Cor sent Nyx back to Drautos and he sent Gladio to wake up Noctis so Prom could have someone who wasn’t an adult to comfort him. Right now, with just under 2 hours to spare, Cor wanted to spend it preparing Leona for whatever came and himself. Neither of them could be living in false hope, they had to look at the facts. Right now, Cor thought Elora’s claim was slowly falling apart. 

“Are you calling my mum a liar.” Leona spat back very offended by his words. 

“No, I am just saying, I don’t mean to be rude, but me and your mum had a reputation in the guard around that time for being… well, to put it bluntly, sluts. And I am not saying you would ever want to take any money off me. I am only asking you if you think your mum might.” 

Leona didn’t want to believe it. This wasn’t fair. All she had ever wanted from the time when she went to school was a dad. All the other kids had one. She didn’t. All the other kids got to celebrate fathers day and she never could. When she finally thought she had an answer, Cor didn’t want to know and now he was telling her that her mother was a gold digger! That couldn’t be true! But… it could be… Her mum was a gambler. She would go out to casinos and gamble away all their earnings for the week once the food and rent were paid. There had been so many times were Leona couldn’t see her friends because Elora had lost all the money! This… but would her mum really lie about her dad to get a bit of cash… Fuck! 

“This is fucked up. Why would she do this?!” Leona whimpered, running her hands through her hair, watching not only her life fall apart but how embarrassing this situation was. How could her mum do this to her? 

Cor sat down awkwardly next to her. He didn’t know what to say, and whatever he came up with would probably make this scared innocent woman cry. He didn’t want that. But it just seemed cruel to make her live in false hope as well. “I am not good at comforting people unless I know them very well but to help you understand that this might be the case, has there ever been an incident where she has lied about something serious? Cause… if that is the case… this might also be another lie.” 

“Why would she name me after you if she wasn’t certain?” 

“To make the story sound more believable,” Cor suggested. If that was the case, he was going to lose it. That was no way to raise or treat a child, especially not your own. “We don’t know anything yet. I get you want to know who your dad is, however, there is a chance it might not be me. But if I am…I promise I will do what I can to help you in any way. I do lead a busy life and I have a son I need to think about. It will be tough.” 

Leona laughed and shook her head. “Whatever happens will be tough. Either with you or knowing that my mum is a sick fuck who had set this up since before I was born to get money from a nice man.” 

That made Cor’s heart drop. She saw him as nice, even after he ran away from her? She was a good person and she didn’t deserve this. 

“I am sorry.” 

“I am sorry too.” Leona smiled. But she didn’t want to talk about her mother or her father anymore. She wanted to forget about this until they had the proof in front of them. She let go of a small laugh and asked. “Why did you think this was a prank done by Lord Amicitia?”

Cor snorted. “That’s a long story. But we have about an hour and a half to kill. I might as well tell you.”

* * *

“Negative.” 

Ardyn said, hiding his relief of the situation, as he showed his husband and Leona the paper. Cor couldn’t help himself but sigh and Leona just looked down at the floor. It was either going to be one way or the other, at least it would work out for one of them. That person just wasn’t her. That was okay. She was fine with that. Cor, however, was not. 

He turned to face her and he felt so upset for her. In a comforting voice, the Marshal said. “Leona, I am so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault. It was nice getting to know you though.” Leona smiled, politely back, ignoring how she was feeling in that moment. 

Cor smiled back “Likewise. Actually let me do something for you.”

“What?” 

“Give me your phone and I’ll call your mum off that. She’ll pick up for you right?” Cor asked, feeling his stomach begin to bubble with hate. In that hour and a half, he had really connected with this woman and he was not about to allow her mum to twist her with any more lies or fantasies. It was sick. The least he could do was try and put a stop to it. 

Leona unlocked the phone and handed it over quickly. “Here.” 

“Don’t say something you will regret My Marshal.” Ardyn warned his husband as Cor placed the phone to his ear. 

“No.”

* * *

The next morning came around and things had settled down a little bit. 

Cor and Ardyn talked things over with Prompto and because the outcome went in his favour, Prompto felt more complied to listen and accept that things were not going to change anytime soon. Because Leona didn’t want to go home that night, Cor brought her a room in a hotel to compensate for what her mum had done to her. It wasn’t much but the Marshal felt so guilty she had been living with someone who was capable of doing things like that. He would know better than anyone what it was like and how it felt. His fucking parents were working with the Niffs before they died, he knew all too well what betrayal felt like. As for Noctis, Gladio, Ignis and Iris, they promised that they would never prank anyone again. Not after this shit fest, it was not in their interest to do so. 

The King and Shield is where the real issue lied. Somnus was not having them prank anyone, at least not while he walked this earth, ever again. He sat the pair down, explained to them all the shit their pranking had caused and that they should stop. He was not going to let them leave the room until they agreed and he had it in writing. 

“Will you lot finally get this into your heads. No more pranking.” Somnus shouted.

“Yes.” Regis nodded. 

“Never again.” Clarus agreed.

“Good.” 

Somnus said happy that they finally understood all of this. Because he wanted it in writing, Somnus went to get a pen out of his desk’s draw to force them to sign the document. As he opened the draw, paint went flying into his face and all over him. Somnus didn’t even give his grandson a moment to laugh before screaming in a fit of rage. 

“BOYS!!!!!” 


End file.
